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In the official draft thread, our friend Red mentioned a prospect named Yawin Smallwood. It got Tank thinking, "Why can't he be 'Longfellow' Tank Elf Duke?"
Anyway, here's the final grades, individually, for the warriors on the Packers offense - graded by L'TED.
Quarterbacks (grade in parenthesis):
Rodgers (B-) - There's a popular saying in Latin, "Jai guru deva, om." Translation: You don't realize how precious a noun is until that noun is gone. Rodgers' injury made us realize how precious he is. Thank Deity, "12" was gone only temporary and not permanently. The injury, however, lowers Rodgers' grade. That and his plays against the 49ers. "A-Rod" has a 2-4 record against the team that made him the poster boy for draft day infamy. The last time the Packers beat the Niners, Jonah Hill was the Golddigers' starting QB. Rodgers is being outshined and outplayed by a tattooed Favre worshiper. Granted, the Packer D is weak and the Niner D is, well, strong, but Rodgers needs to start playing like a pimp, or a man possessed, against the Niners from here on out. Or nothing's gonna change our world.
Flynn (C) - A few weeks after Shea McClellin made the hit that changed the dynamics of the NFC North, the Packers found themselves on an edge tied to a noose. Flynn came a long and he cut the Packers loose. But Flynn's star is a-fading and time is NOT on his side. Flynn should consider being a career backup -in Green Bay.
Tolzien (D-) - A tip a-waiting to happen. A pick a-waiting to happen. Nuff said.
Runningbacks
Lacy (A-) - The Hog ran fearlessly and aggressively. Like a hog. Did everything he was asked to do except break maybe a few more long runs. A force in the redzone. Lost only 1 fumble. Pass blocking need work. Not Lacy's fault but Marshawn Fucking Lynch is still making us ask what could've have been.
Starks (B) - Healthy and efficient.
Kuhn (C) - Made some nice plays to go along with some boneheaded plays (especially on special teams). Useless at times but 2nd Bear game showed that he's still useful.
Franklin (F) - Terrible on special teams. A fumble a-waiting to happen at runningback. Made the team by default.
DuJuan Harris (A++++): This will be Don DuJuan Harris' grade at this time next year. In addition to his duty at runningback, Harris will return punts and kickoffs next season and score 5 touchdowns off returns.
Receivers
Nelson (A) - If Nelson was a dreaded fat pig, he'd rule the modern world, not that we need another fat "white" pig dictating our lives. Nelson guy was "businesslike" all year.
Jones (B) - In a season where so many Packers were notorious for being milksops (cough, Claymaker, cough), Jones displayed the toughness that would make "4" proud. Stats are for losers, we know, but Jones', as well as the other receivers, stats were diminished due in large part to Rodgers' injury.
Cobb (C+) - Was having a monstrous season until the monster Thompson did not draft (Matt Elam) put him on the IR. I know, the universal has a way of balancing itself out. If it wasn't Elam, it would've been someone else. Still, Elam would've looked good in Green and Gold. Allowing Cobb to return kicks in the playoffs was the correct move. Playing scared is for losers. Here's hoping for a healthy Cobb in 2014.
Boykin (C+) - A peasant that rose up in the ranks to become a working class hero, Boykin is an inspiration to underdogs the world over.
White (D) - A Johnny Knox clone, the coaches should've given this guy an opportunity to return kickoffs when he was healthy. I mean, to quote Coldplay, if you never try, then you'll never know. The KO return unit was disgusting. Fire Slocum!
Harper (F) - Was on the team? 6'1" and almost 250 lbs. Yo, McCarthy, how 'bout using this guy in the redzone?
Notable grade - Charles Johnson (INC) - What the fuck is wrong with the Packers' doctors? Johnson went to Cleveland and the competent doctors there discovered his torn ACL. If the Packers doctors weren't so incompetent, Johnson would still be Packer property. Chuck Johnson HAS it, and he would make a great deep threat next season.
Tight Ends
Finely (B+) - Acing the season 'til the neck injury. J-Mike may be brash, cocky and a prima donna, but he's got game - in present tense. J-Mike will be back, hopefully with the Packers.
Quarless (D+) - Extremely invisible til the last quarter of the season.
Bostick (D) - JAG.
Taylor (D-) - Supposedly a ST standout but all but the FG unit on special teams looked pathetic, so a JAG. Nothing unique.
Stonebuner (F) - Practice squad candidate. On an unrelated note, Thompson needs to start thinking outside the "Ron Wolf" box and acquire a ballin' tight end with a basketball background. And a 5'7" slot wideout that's quick as a cat. Thinking outside the box has done Belichick good. See Welker, Wes. See Blount, LeGarrette.
Offensive linemen
Sitton (A) - The left side is always better, whether it's the left side of an offensive line or the left side of the civic rainbow.
Lang (B-) - The right side is always worse, whether it's the right side of an offensive line or the right side of the civic rainbow.
Bakhtiari (C+) - The Packers were staring into the face a black hole when Bulaga was lost for the season. "Bak" managed to steer the Packers away from said black hole, and a new star was born (we hope).
Barclay (C) - Not a disaster but was a JAG.
Dietrich-Smith (C) - A JAG. JAG a good show? I am almost finished with "Chuck" on Netflix, and I need another good TV series to pass away future sexless weekends.
Anyway, here's the final grades, individually, for the warriors on the Packers offense - graded by L'TED.
Quarterbacks (grade in parenthesis):
Rodgers (B-) - There's a popular saying in Latin, "Jai guru deva, om." Translation: You don't realize how precious a noun is until that noun is gone. Rodgers' injury made us realize how precious he is. Thank Deity, "12" was gone only temporary and not permanently. The injury, however, lowers Rodgers' grade. That and his plays against the 49ers. "A-Rod" has a 2-4 record against the team that made him the poster boy for draft day infamy. The last time the Packers beat the Niners, Jonah Hill was the Golddigers' starting QB. Rodgers is being outshined and outplayed by a tattooed Favre worshiper. Granted, the Packer D is weak and the Niner D is, well, strong, but Rodgers needs to start playing like a pimp, or a man possessed, against the Niners from here on out. Or nothing's gonna change our world.
Flynn (C) - A few weeks after Shea McClellin made the hit that changed the dynamics of the NFC North, the Packers found themselves on an edge tied to a noose. Flynn came a long and he cut the Packers loose. But Flynn's star is a-fading and time is NOT on his side. Flynn should consider being a career backup -in Green Bay.
Tolzien (D-) - A tip a-waiting to happen. A pick a-waiting to happen. Nuff said.
Runningbacks
Lacy (A-) - The Hog ran fearlessly and aggressively. Like a hog. Did everything he was asked to do except break maybe a few more long runs. A force in the redzone. Lost only 1 fumble. Pass blocking need work. Not Lacy's fault but Marshawn Fucking Lynch is still making us ask what could've have been.
Starks (B) - Healthy and efficient.
Kuhn (C) - Made some nice plays to go along with some boneheaded plays (especially on special teams). Useless at times but 2nd Bear game showed that he's still useful.
Franklin (F) - Terrible on special teams. A fumble a-waiting to happen at runningback. Made the team by default.
DuJuan Harris (A++++): This will be Don DuJuan Harris' grade at this time next year. In addition to his duty at runningback, Harris will return punts and kickoffs next season and score 5 touchdowns off returns.
Receivers
Nelson (A) - If Nelson was a dreaded fat pig, he'd rule the modern world, not that we need another fat "white" pig dictating our lives. Nelson guy was "businesslike" all year.
Jones (B) - In a season where so many Packers were notorious for being milksops (cough, Claymaker, cough), Jones displayed the toughness that would make "4" proud. Stats are for losers, we know, but Jones', as well as the other receivers, stats were diminished due in large part to Rodgers' injury.
Cobb (C+) - Was having a monstrous season until the monster Thompson did not draft (Matt Elam) put him on the IR. I know, the universal has a way of balancing itself out. If it wasn't Elam, it would've been someone else. Still, Elam would've looked good in Green and Gold. Allowing Cobb to return kicks in the playoffs was the correct move. Playing scared is for losers. Here's hoping for a healthy Cobb in 2014.
Boykin (C+) - A peasant that rose up in the ranks to become a working class hero, Boykin is an inspiration to underdogs the world over.
White (D) - A Johnny Knox clone, the coaches should've given this guy an opportunity to return kickoffs when he was healthy. I mean, to quote Coldplay, if you never try, then you'll never know. The KO return unit was disgusting. Fire Slocum!
Harper (F) - Was on the team? 6'1" and almost 250 lbs. Yo, McCarthy, how 'bout using this guy in the redzone?
Notable grade - Charles Johnson (INC) - What the fuck is wrong with the Packers' doctors? Johnson went to Cleveland and the competent doctors there discovered his torn ACL. If the Packers doctors weren't so incompetent, Johnson would still be Packer property. Chuck Johnson HAS it, and he would make a great deep threat next season.
Tight Ends
Finely (B+) - Acing the season 'til the neck injury. J-Mike may be brash, cocky and a prima donna, but he's got game - in present tense. J-Mike will be back, hopefully with the Packers.
Quarless (D+) - Extremely invisible til the last quarter of the season.
Bostick (D) - JAG.
Taylor (D-) - Supposedly a ST standout but all but the FG unit on special teams looked pathetic, so a JAG. Nothing unique.
Stonebuner (F) - Practice squad candidate. On an unrelated note, Thompson needs to start thinking outside the "Ron Wolf" box and acquire a ballin' tight end with a basketball background. And a 5'7" slot wideout that's quick as a cat. Thinking outside the box has done Belichick good. See Welker, Wes. See Blount, LeGarrette.
Offensive linemen
Sitton (A) - The left side is always better, whether it's the left side of an offensive line or the left side of the civic rainbow.
Lang (B-) - The right side is always worse, whether it's the right side of an offensive line or the right side of the civic rainbow.
Bakhtiari (C+) - The Packers were staring into the face a black hole when Bulaga was lost for the season. "Bak" managed to steer the Packers away from said black hole, and a new star was born (we hope).
Barclay (C) - Not a disaster but was a JAG.
Dietrich-Smith (C) - A JAG. JAG a good show? I am almost finished with "Chuck" on Netflix, and I need another good TV series to pass away future sexless weekends.
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