'Twas Poetry Slam

[Harlan Huckleby]

'Twas the night before Christmas
In the skybox with Ted
Not a creature was stirring
'cept the one on Dom's head

[mraynrand]

And then from the internet arose such a clatter,
From Packerrats engaged in firing Dom chatter.

[3irty1]

The playbooks were heaped in the garbage with prayer,
In hopes that next year Dom wouldn't be there.
The defensive backs were all snug in their casts,
While dreaming of playing a full season at last.

[mraynrand]

Fans looked at the eagles and saw they had game,
And whistled, and shouted, and tantrumed "we want same!":
"Fire Capers! Fire, Stubby! Fire Murphy! Fire Thompson!
Fire Bennet! Fire Trgo! Fire Zook! Fire Campen!
Look at the Patriots, they're best of all!"
If we can't have that, the whole Org takes the fall!

[Harlan Huckleby]

Stuck with CBs with problems - dumb, slow and lame
Dom whistled, and shouted, and called them by name

On House! on Randle! on Hawkins! On Goodson!
(Wish I still had, Harris, Shields, and Woodson)

[3irty1]

To the top of the standings! To the top of the league!
Sign me first week free agents Ted please!

[Joemailman]

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...A start for Callahan so we won't see Brett Hundley.

[Harlan Huckleby]

5 linemen blocking
4 backers tackling
3 touch downs running
2 tight ends catching
And a screen play stopped for less than twenty

[channtheman]

We wished for a Super Bowl win
We wished for a Super Bowl win
We wished for a Super Bowl win
But blew it instead

If only Rodgers, did not break his fall
We would have won more games but we blew it instead


The season up there is frightful,
but the bears still suck it's delightful
Since we're staying home this year
Screw the Vikings, screw the Lions, screw the Bears


Capers sucks, Thompson blows, MM laid an egg
Wasted 1 more Rodger year, he sure is getting old, HEY!
Capers sucks, Thompson blows, MM laid an egg
It's time for heads to roll up north at 1.2.6.5. Ave

[Harlan Huckleby]

Stubby the snow man, tells fairytales, some say
With a corny joke and "we'll get that fixed"
The press writes "all's OK"

[mraynrand]

He was aged and grey, an acerbic GM,
And I laughed when I saw him, and coughed up some phlegm;
His old dead doll eyes and his twisted white head,
Let me know just for certain that next season I'd dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled out the draft card; a Devineesque-like jerk,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the draft board he rose;

He traded some picks, to his team gave pass rusher,
But he blew out his hammy, and it turned into musher.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he left 1265,
We'll make the Divisional, but from there won't survive!

[pbmax]

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...A start for Callahan so we won't see Brett Hundley.

Harlan's are fine, but need some names.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Three missed picks
Two Kendricks drops
Callahan starts and no Hundley.

[Harlan Huckleby]

Harlan's are fine, but need some names.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Three missed picks
Two Kendricks drops
Callahan starts and no Hundley.

Thank you for being respectful of my work. Artists are sensitive.

Guess it's time for a scorecard from the game.

5 linemen blocking
4 backers tackling
3 touch downs running
2 tight ends catching
And a screen play stopped for less than twenty

(I gave a little Christmas spirit to the battered O-line)

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Maybe it's just me, but I love you just the way you are
No need to stuff your chest with silicone
Just paint your face and dance - you're my star
And in the clutch, perchance, we could nuke the sun

Where do polar bears go when this planet melts
Wherever we go, I hope we don't drift apart
We could start brave new lives on the asteroid belt
And in the clutch, perchance, you'd let me into your heart

[rap]
Yo, yo, yo, my name is Tank Elf Duke
My words, my lyrics make the hatas puke
See, my skin's pale but inside I'm black, yo
Cos only shutdown corners are black, yo
Call me a wigga if it pleases you, ho
Cos I made Darren Charles, my bitch, my ho
Shutdown that Goliath in a high school football game
School still won't put me in its fucking hall of fame
Cos I was cockier than the Great Arm of Butte, ARod
Fuck it, in my awesome mind, Imma mother fuckin' god
Coaches wanted me to play the pistol force with honor
Fuck that shit, said I, Imma shutdown corner
Just put me on an island and let me do my thing
Cos, bitches, I float like Deion and sting like Wu Tang
Once a shutdown corner, always a shutdown corner, mate
Lovers gonna love, haters gonna hate

Happy holidays, rats!

[mraynrand]

lol.

Merry Christmas, Dr. John Holmes, M.D., aka Tank Duke