Originally posted by Joemailman
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PackerRats 1st Round Mock Draft
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A newfie walks into a lumber yard and says,
"I's building an 'ouse bye' and needs me some a dat der too be far"
The clerks says "You mean 2 by 4?".
The newfie says "Yes bye', dat's da stuff."
The clerks asks "Well how long do you need it?"
The newfie responds:
"Well bye', I's buildin' an 'ouse wit it... so I's gonna need it for awhile."** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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Yea sure !Originally posted by Guiness View PostDo we do round 2, or a second try at round 1?
Let's deliver this place to MOCK HELL !** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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A Mainlander is driving down the highway and runs over a rabbit. Wondering what the noise was; he stops his car and gets out to take a look.
While he's standing there, a newfie pulls up and asks him what's going on.
The mainlander says: "I'm just here visiting your fair province and I seem to have killed one of your animals."
The newfie takes a look at the rabbit and says, "No problem, bye. Hang'er down a few."
The newfie then goes to his truck and gets an aerosol spray-can, which he proceeds to empty onto the rabbit. When he's done he chucks the empty in the ditch and says, "There ya go, me son. Enjoy yer stay" then gets in his truck and takes off.
The rabbit gets up, hops 10 feet towards the woods, turns around and waves, hops another 10 feet, turns around and waves, hops another 10 feet, and finally disappears into the woods.
It's the darndest thing.
The Mainlander is blown away. Wondering what the newfie did?
He grabs the can out of the ditch and reads the label, which says:
"Hair spray..... guaranteed to bring dead hair back to life, with a permanent wave"** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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Two newfies are in a car enjoying a bottle of black horse, when a cop pulls them over.
The newfie in the passenger seat says "He's got us now bye, what're we gonna do?"
The driver says: They have nothing to worry about and tells him to follow his lead and say nothing.
The driver peals the label off the bottle of beer, licks the back of it, sticks it to his forehead, and puts the bottle under his seat--the passenger follows suit.
The police officer approaches the drivers window and asks for his licence and registration.
As the driver gives the officer his info the officer asks whether he or the passenger had been drinking at all that night, at which point the driver points to his forehead and responds,
"Oh no sir, we's on da patch ya see!".** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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A sad thing happened:
A newfie's wife passed away and so immediately after a few private words, he called 911.
The 911 operator told him that they would send someone over right away and asked him where he lived.
"At the end of Eucalyptus Drive", the newfie told her.
The operator asked, "Could you please spell that for me?"
After a long pause, the newfie said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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Bridge to North Sydney (that's on Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia)
A Newfie riding his Harley along the TCH just outside of Port aux Basque, Newfoundland, when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The Newfie pulled over and replied, 'Build a bridge to North Sydney so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said:
'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking: the supports required reaching the bottom of the ocean and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The Newfie thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said:
'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied:
'You want two lanes, or four on that bridge?'Last edited by woodbuck27; 04-16-2018, 10:09 PM.** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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Talking Moose
A man's car stalled just outside of Gander one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a moose came along and stopped beside him.
"Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the moose.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met someone. The amazed man told the feller his story.
"Was it a large brown moose with a crooked left antler?" asked the feller.
"Yes, yes," the man replied.
"Oh! I wouldn't listen to Old Lefty," said the feller. "He doesn't know a thing about cars."** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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Archaeology
The NEWS !
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Toronto scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Ontarian's, in the weeks that followed:
A Vancouver archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the Vancouver Province: "BC archaeologists, finding traces of 130-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 30 years earlier than Ontario".
One week later:
The Newfoundland telegram in St Johns, NFLD , reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in St John's , Newfoundland , James Smith, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing at all. James has therefore concluded that 150 years ago, Newfoundland had already gone wireless."** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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Bye Lord Thunderin it was a stretch of the unimaginable but another Packerrat demonstrated his ability to demonstrate the unenviable quality of really not giving a F- - k. You'll not likely ever see it on any other place on the Internet. That's why we're Packer RATS.
So let's give bobblehead a rousing round of applause, or ... does he deserve all the credit?
Isn't that something else again!?
33 and 1/2 Hours AND counting ! between Picks in a Mock Draft.
bobblehead holds the highly esteemed record and 'the Porker Puddin' Puss' Cup which he'll likely proudly display on his Packer Cave mantel.
Just terrific stuff.Last edited by woodbuck27; 04-16-2018, 10:58 PM.** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau
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For Bobblehead, Tennessee Titans:
Possibilities Rashaan Evans, Alabama, ILB, Da'Ron Payne, Alabama, DT (GONE), Harold Landry, BC, EDGE/OLB (GONE), DJ Moore, WR Maryland, Courtland Sutton
Southern Methodist, WR.
Avery Williams left in free agency. Could use a pass rusher, interior D line help and someone to replace Decker at WR.
No first round grades left on D for need. Tough call to take another WR in first round after last year. But the new Head Coach might decide to help his franchise's best player.
With the 25th pick of the 2018 NFL Common Draft, the Tennessee Titans select, Cortland Sutton, WR, SMUBud Adams told me the franchise he admired the most was the Kansas City Chiefs. Then he asked for more hookers and blow.
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