A swift, "midget" corner. A tall, fast receiver. Not too many fat guys. A punter. An Al Harris-clone. Fuck yeah, Gutenkunst is just like his guru preceptor. And said guru ain't Todd. I'm barking about the only GM in NFL history who has NEVER missed the playoffs as GM (minimum 4 seasons).
Draft grade: A
Round/Player/Comment
1. J-Alex: Fast. Lacks ideal size, but has heart of Tyrion Lannister. Cocky, has shutdown potential. Could be dangerous as a punter returner. Calvin Ridley would've looked good in the Green and Gold.
2. J-Jax: Unfortunately, a sloth. Currently a poor man's Al Harris. Once he masters the game, could be an Al Harris-clone. Harris was a favorite Packer of mine, but I'd rather pair J-Alex with Donte Jackson.
3. Burks: Failed to showcase beast mode at the collegiate level. Soft? Not a shutdown backer, but has some coverage ability. For the love of Green and Gold, quit comparing Burks to Joe Fucking Thomas! Joe T was 5'3", a sloth, an abomination, and even a LT.
4. J'Mon: 4.6 40? WTF? That's slower than that sloth 'Rollins in the Deep'. An upgrade over Allison, also a sloth. Needs to stay away from guns. Last time Pack drafted a WR in the 4th, he became a gun-loving ruffian shortly after the draft, and was released in training camp.
5. Madison: A fat guy, but a poor man's Sitton nonetheless.
5. John Kimball: The last time the Packers drafted a punter, they made the playoffs. Jon Ryan was cut by some incompetent polar bear10 years ago, and Packers are still searching for his replacement today.
5. MVS: 6-4, 4.3 40. What monstrous deed did this guy commit in college to deserve the drop into the 5th? Kneel? Trust me, MVS is gonna be awesome. Speed is awesome in real life and on Madden.
6. Eqauanimeous: McCarthy recently proclaimed that he loves tall wide outs. Then why the fuck wasn't Janis on the field? McCarthy never gave Janis a fair chance.
7. Looney: Who? Who gives a fuck?
7. Bradley: Long snapper with some tight end skills. John Holmes used to long snap into tight ends, too.
7: Donnerson: Practice squad candidate.
Overview: This draft proves that the German Shepherd is more like Mike Sherman than Ted Thompson.
Draft grade: A
Round/Player/Comment
1. J-Alex: Fast. Lacks ideal size, but has heart of Tyrion Lannister. Cocky, has shutdown potential. Could be dangerous as a punter returner. Calvin Ridley would've looked good in the Green and Gold.
2. J-Jax: Unfortunately, a sloth. Currently a poor man's Al Harris. Once he masters the game, could be an Al Harris-clone. Harris was a favorite Packer of mine, but I'd rather pair J-Alex with Donte Jackson.
3. Burks: Failed to showcase beast mode at the collegiate level. Soft? Not a shutdown backer, but has some coverage ability. For the love of Green and Gold, quit comparing Burks to Joe Fucking Thomas! Joe T was 5'3", a sloth, an abomination, and even a LT.
4. J'Mon: 4.6 40? WTF? That's slower than that sloth 'Rollins in the Deep'. An upgrade over Allison, also a sloth. Needs to stay away from guns. Last time Pack drafted a WR in the 4th, he became a gun-loving ruffian shortly after the draft, and was released in training camp.
5. Madison: A fat guy, but a poor man's Sitton nonetheless.
5. John Kimball: The last time the Packers drafted a punter, they made the playoffs. Jon Ryan was cut by some incompetent polar bear10 years ago, and Packers are still searching for his replacement today.
5. MVS: 6-4, 4.3 40. What monstrous deed did this guy commit in college to deserve the drop into the 5th? Kneel? Trust me, MVS is gonna be awesome. Speed is awesome in real life and on Madden.
6. Eqauanimeous: McCarthy recently proclaimed that he loves tall wide outs. Then why the fuck wasn't Janis on the field? McCarthy never gave Janis a fair chance.
7. Looney: Who? Who gives a fuck?
7. Bradley: Long snapper with some tight end skills. John Holmes used to long snap into tight ends, too.
7: Donnerson: Practice squad candidate.
Overview: This draft proves that the German Shepherd is more like Mike Sherman than Ted Thompson.

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