Teds & Tanks - Gold Diggers

[Guest]

One guy, society uncooley chains to the closet. The other guy, society unjustly enslaves as a burger flipper. One guy played in the NFL, albeit merely as Bum Phillips' personal playboy. The other guy shut down Darren Charles in a high school football game. One guy was an NFL GM, even though he was the mother of incompetence. The other guy flips burgers for the minimum-wage.

One ain't need to be no hotshot rocket scientist to figure out who's the winner and who's the loser. Even a simpleton like Tony O'Day ain't got no problem figuring that out, yo.

Without reviewing the films, here are the Teds and Tanks for the Niners game, based on my humble presence at the historical Lambeau Field last night. What a humbling experience, especially since I, a die-hard Pack fan since 09-20-92, was clad in my awesome red Kap jersey.

Despite the win, our beloved Packers were not impressive at all. Team looks like a fake Super Bowl contender. Defense sucks bird dogs. Thus far, D has made game manager Alex Smith look like Aaron Rodgers. Made the wanker Beathard look like Mahommes (who, btw, looks like a white QB in full armor). The Mobius Inversion Formula says that this hapless, tasteless, toothless D is gonna make Goff look like TB12, and TB12 look like, well, the GOAT he is.

Tanks:

Brice - Gave up another long bomb over the middle by failing to "do his fuckin' job" yet again. MD Jennings clone. Was inconsistent, incompetent, and intolerable.

Dix - Inconsistent, incompetent and intolerable. This guy belongs on a bench, along with Brice. Caused a fumble, which is always fine and dandy, after yet another defensive coverage fuck up. But before play was over, was all Ahmad Carroll cocky.

Perry - Looked fat and slow out there. Tipped a couple of passes, but was toothless rushing the passer and equally toothless against the run.

McCarthy - Many uncool folks want to ship assistants like Pettine, Whitt and Moss off to the guillotine, but ultimately, the blame falls on McCarthy. D-Rand was right. The Packers lack accountability. Brice and Dix, along with a about 10 other wankers, should've been benched a long fucking time ago. Yet, they continue to play and continue to fuck up without fear.

Crosby - How hard is it to inject some juice into fuckin' leg and kick the fucking rock deep into the dark dimension of the endzone for a dull touchback? I know, alotta uncool folks hate it when players kneel, but that's better than watching the returner fly the rock all the way up to the 50. Crosby the Mason Snowman did hit 4 kicks, including the game winner at the buzzer.

Teds:

Graham - The last time a Packer TE end caught 100 yards worth of balls via the air, J-Mike was a-rocking our socks off. Ok, maybe Jared Cook did reach the century mark, but still, eat crow, Red.

MVS - Just sign Dez and throw the rock all day long. The more WMDs, the better. All running the ball does is distort the Great Arm of Butte's fragile rhythm. That, and the run game milks the clock. With a D that sucks bird dogs, the Packers cannot afford to any waste time.

Adams - Looked like Greg Jennings out there catching rocks. Hands were soft and warm.

Great Arm of Butte - See what happens when Dumb Mike tries to establish the run? Rodgers' game goes cold, as it did during the 1st 2 or 3 quarters. Fuck the run. Throw the rock all day, everyday. Make Aaron Rodgers great again.

[mraynrand]

Mostly agree, except about the run and Stubby. They don't need to run all that much, but a few runs to keep the defense honest are a necessity, especially when half the O-line is taped together. Stubby did a reasonable job running away from that weakness I thought, and Rodgers was forced to throw to the younglings at WR, who are not terrible. Their defense has holes, and Dix looks like a fan back there who has the best seat in the house. What fun to be able to watch the game from right inside the action! They need J'xander back because Pettine has to be able to go zero coverage to generate pressure. Otherwise they have the worst of both worlds - lousy zone coverage and poor pass rush with 4-5 at the same time.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Mostly agree, except about the run and Stubby. They don't need to run all that much, but a few runs to keep the defense honest are a necessity, especially when half the O-line is taped together. Stubby did a reasonable job running away from that weakness I thought, and Rodgers was forced to throw to the younglings at WR, who are not terrible. Their defense has holes, and Dix looks like a fan back there who has the best seat in the house. What fun to be able to watch the game from right inside the action! They need J'xander back because Pettine has to be able to go zero coverage to generate pressure. Otherwise they have the worst of both worlds - lousy zone coverage and poor pass rush with 4-5 at the same time.

I'm fine with running the ball once every blue moon, but every time McCarthy tries to play smashmouth futbol, especially early in games, the Packers fall into a well. Packers are a passing team with a shitty D. Be a passing team and quit milking the clock with the run.

[Rutnstrut]

I'm fine with running the ball once every blue moon, but every time McCarthy tries to play smashmouth futbol, especially early in games, the Packers fall into a well. Packers are a passing team with a shitty D. Be a passing team and quit milking the clock with the run.

Holy shit, you are a dumbass.

[gbgary]

MM said there were mistakes made on the long ball that involved Brice. that wr lined up with no one covering him...not a cb in sight. someone got doubled by mistake. not Brice's fault.

tanks: the whole d in the first half, anyone committing a penalty, MM/Rodgers for their decisions/efforts that were substandard/underwhelming/went awry (and there were many).

teds: special teams, the d in the second half, MM/Rodgers for their decisions/efforts that met/exceeded expectations (and there were many), EQ, MVS, Graham (who is much better working from the TE position rather than at WR ), Monty, and Adams who's easily a top 10 WR.

[texaspackerbacker]

I'm fine with running the ball once every blue moon, but every time McCarthy tries to play smashmouth futbol, especially early in games, the Packers fall into a well. Packers are a passing team with a shitty D. Be a passing team and quit milking the clock with the run.

Absodamnlutely! This post really nails it. You may well be a dumbass in general, but this was certainly your blind squirrel moment.

I'm wondering why you called the bad things "tanks" and the good things "teds".

[George Cumby]

^ The irony.

[ThunderDan]

I'm fine with running the ball once every blue moon, but every time McCarthy tries to play smashmouth futbol, especially early in games, the Packers fall into a well. Packers are a passing team with a shitty D. Be a passing team and quit milking the clock with the run.

We had 18 runs the whole game if you don't count Arod's scrambles.

18 rushes - 82 yards - 1 TD 4.56 ypc

Pretty sure the running game had nothing to do with the Packers trailing this week.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

We had 18 runs the whole game if you don't count Arod's scrambles.

18 rushes - 82 yards - 1 TD 4.56 ypc

Pretty sure the running game had nothing to do with the Packers trailing this week.

The majority of those rushes probably occurred in the 1st half. What was the score at half-time? Likewise, the Packers tried to establish the run against Detroit in 1st half. Scored nothing.

The Queens were a smashmouth team when they had the Switch Hitter in his prime. How many playoffs games did they win with the Switch Hitter? Point is, the NFL has morphed into a passing league. Pack have a pretty damn good QB. Ain't no rhyme or reason in trying to be the 1966 Packers.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

MM said there were mistakes made on the long ball that involved Brice. that wr lined up with no one covering him...not a cb in sight. someone got doubled by mistake. not Brice's fault.

tanks: the whole d in the first half, anyone committing a penalty, MM/Rodgers for their decisions/efforts that were substandard/underwhelming/went awry (and there were many).

teds: special teams, the d in the second half, MM/Rodgers for their decisions/efforts that met/exceeded expectations (and there were many), EQ, MVS, Graham (who is much better working from the TE position rather than at WR ), Monty, and Adams who's easily a top 10 WR.

Good post. As for the bomb-6, the Niners wideout saw daylight from snap to TD. There shoulda been a saftey deep, as I'm pretty sure Pettine didn't call Cover 0 on the play. Either Dix or Brice fucked up. Not sure where Dix was, but I saw Brice desperately chasing a cloud of dust, so it sure looks like he didn't do his job.

[pbmax]

The majority of those rushes probably occurred in the 1st half. What was the score at half-time?

24-20. If you were right about when they rushed, might argue for more rushing.

First half overall 10/40. Without Rodgers, 9/34

Second half 11/76, without AR ,9/48

[Anti-Polar Bear]

24-20. If you were right about when they rushed, might argue for more rushing.

First half overall 10/40. Without Rodgers, 9/34

Second half 11/76, without AR ,9/48

Other than 20-24, I’m not sure what your other numbers denote. 20-24 and 0-24 are proofs that the Packers often fall into a well when trying to pound the rock. Rhythm is a dancer, and the Great Arm of Butte’s rhythm gets distorted when he’s handing the ball off instead of dancing in the pocket.

If Sun Tzu were alive today, he’d boldly insist that you annihilate the foe via the air before “running” in the infantryman to bath in the blood of the fallen foe. In football terms, especially with the Great Arm of Butte at QB, you pass attack frequently to annihilate the foe; only when victory is all but assured do you milk the clock with the run.

[pbmax]

Other than 20-24, I’m not sure what your other numbers denote. 20-24 and 0-24 are proofs that the Packers often fall into a well when trying to pound the rock. Rhythm is a dancer, and the Great Arm of Butte’s rhythm gets distorted when he’s handing the ball off instead of dancing in the pocket.

If Sun Tzu were alive today, he’d boldly insist that you annihilate the foe via the air before “running” in the infantryman to bath in the blood of the fallen foe. In football terms, especially with the Great Arm of Butte at QB, you pass attack frequently to annihilate the foe; only when victory is all but assured do you milk the clock with the run.

Its run attempts/run yardage by half, with Rodgers included and excluded.

Abandoning the run wasn't the ticket, it was better defense.

I agree generally that establishing the run is dumb unless you are getting major yardage due to some mismatch or countering the defensive scheme or your tendency.

But McCarthy is trying to get Rodgers healthy and protecting him. The problem with that is that Jones ripping off more yardage would make the entire offense more effective.

[mraynrand]

I

I agree generally that establishing the run is dumb unless you are getting major yardage due to some mismatch or countering the defensive scheme or your tendency.

Exactly. Also, in this passing era, you have to at least make the defense think it's possible you may run the ball. I always cite as evidence the game at Seattle in 2012 (Interceptouchdown). Seattle just dared the Packers to run - they went after Rodgers on every down because they didn't care about the run - just disrupt Rodgers. You have to be able to put the defense on their heels a bit. You have to make them pay for selling out against the pass. This doesn't at all mean a certain high number of reps or 3 yards and a cloud of dust.

[pbmax]

Exactly. Also, in this passing era, you have to at least make the defense think it's possible you may run the ball. I always cite as evidence the game at Seattle in 2012 (Interceptouchdown). Seattle just dared the Packers to run - they went after Rodgers on every down because they didn't care about the run - just disrupt Rodgers. You have to be able to put the defense on their heels a bit. You have to make them pay for selling out against the pass. This doesn't at all mean a certain high number of reps or 3 yards and a cloud of dust.

Agree. Its nice to punish someone for playing only the pass. Its a good constraint approach, to keep the defense honest.

Its also nice to be able to play action/RPO off it. And lots of data suggest you don't even need to be good at running it to make play action work. A moment' hesitation is all you need.