Official Degenerate Gamblers Thread

[Anti-Polar Bear]

If your math isn't correct, maybe that's why you have a hard time getting that all-elusive accounting job.

Ain’t no math genius, and I’ve forgotten all the math shit I learned as a student, but I was above average at math while institutionalized. That’s why I idiotically opted to major in accounting and economics as a porn addiction began to cloud my creative mind (went to college seeking to major in English).

That being said, unless one is a rocket scientist or a math teacher/professor, one ain’t even need to be average at math in to succeed in today’s cockerel, computerized world - the AI does all the calculations nowadays.

The reason I ain’t an accountant is obvious as fuck: no pig would hire me. Hell, I once went to a 2nd interview for an entry level accounting job and aced that shit. They asked me what my salary should be. I was like, y’all listed the starting salary at $65,000/yr for someone with CPA potential (I have passed the CPA exams at that point), due to the lack of experience, I would be willing to start at $40,000. Then I provided them with a thorough analysis of the many stocks they could invest in with the $25,000 they would save with me opting to be underpaid. Said that $25K investment could end up paying my salary for the next 5 years.

A few days later, I received a “we regret to inform you that we’re fucking elsewhere” letter.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

After idiotically pissing away even more frogskins at the poker tables, I put $30 on this parlay:

Packers -3.5
Packers-Lions - under (50)
Patriots -5.5
Rams +3

$30 for a chance to win $368.

Am I an idiot?

[texaspackerbacker]

Am I reading that right? You took the under 50 total points? I'm thinking you might get burned on that one. 72-0 is more than 50, right? Seriously, 45-27 sounds about right to me.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Am I reading that right? You took the under 50 total points? I'm thinking you might get burned on that one. 72-0 is more than 50, right? Seriously, 45-27 sounds about right to me.

Anything can happen on any given Sunday, but if historical data is to be believed - something the so-called experts love to cite - both teams should score less than 50.

Packers O, especially the passing O, is more impotent than Tony ODay without Viagra. The Bills game inspired the Packers to pound the rock all day. Packers D is good for one half of domination, and it hasn’t been able to stop the run since the Bucfuckneers game. Lions scored 6 points, 6 points before putting up 27 against the Fins. All in all, both teams will be seeking to pound the rock - Packers b/c they lack fire power at WR; the Lions b/c the Packers can’t stop the run. Rock pounding = clock milking = low scoring.

[RashanGary]

Imma bet on the Packers. We gonna cover this week.

[bobblehead]

Houston is a monster home dog against an NFC team. This is the Time of the season where the hype gets to be too much take the 14 book it

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Houston is a monster home dog against an NFC team. This is the Time of the season where the hype gets to be too much take the 14 book it

Nice bet.

[bobblehead]

I'm going to make a small bet on the dolphins this weekend. That line makes zero sense to me. With the dolphins you have a loaded offense that seems to be clicking against the bears defense that is traded away it's two best players. And the bears offense that's completely dysfunctional. What am I missing the dolphins should be laying seven minimum

[Joemailman]

I'm going to make a small bet on the dolphins this weekend. That line makes zero sense to me. With the dolphins you have a loaded offense that seems to be clicking against the bears defense that is traded away it's two best players. And the bears offense that's completely dysfunctional. What am I missing the dolphins should be laying seven minimum

Bears offense has picked up a bit the last 2 games. The reason is their running game has been a juggernaut, with 240+ rushing yards each game. Miami run defense is tough, but if Bears can run ball, they might be able to keep this one close. Miami offense should have a big advantage though if the Bears can't keep them off the field.

[bobblehead]

Bears offense has picked up a bit the last 2 games. The reason is their running game has been a juggernaut, with 240+ rushing yards each game. Miami run defense is tough, but if Bears can run ball, they might be able to keep this one close. Miami offense should have a big advantage though if the Bears can't keep them off the field.

I think it plays out like the eagles. The bears will play inspired first half, but talent comes through in the 2nd half. I think the only chance for bears to cover is a late TD in garbage time.

[Anti-Polar Bear]

I am desperate. Should I put $100 on this parlay?

1. TB (Sea, Germany) -2.5
2. Mia (vs Cle) -4
3. Ten (vs Den) -3
4. Chi (vs Det) -2.5
5. NYG (vs Hou) -6.5
6. KC (vs Jax) -9.5
7. LV (vs Ind) -6
8. LAR (vs Ari) -3

$100 for a chance to win $17,179.33

[Sparkey]

I am desperate. Should I put $100 on this parlay?

1. TB (Sea, Germany) -2.5
2. Mia (vs Cle) -4
3. Ten (vs Den) -3
4. Chi (vs Det) -2.5
5. NYG (vs Hou) -6.5
6. KC (vs Jax) -9.5
7. LV (vs Ind) -6
8. LAR (vs Ari) -3

$100 for a chance to win $17,179.33

If you want to lose 100.00 then sure, go for it!

[Anti-Polar Bear]

Fire Jason Kidd!!!!

$22, 4-teams parlay:

ML- Panthers (NFL)
Spread - Memphis (NCAAF)
Spread - Louisiana (NCAAF)
Spread - Mavs (NBA)

All I needed to win $330 was a Maverick victory by 5. Instead, they lost by a million.

Fuck!

[KYPack]

Tank, parlay bets are sucker bets. You play them and think like a mark. "I can win $368 for a $30 bet!". That's just what the books want you to think. The odds of hitting a 4 team parlay is tiny, the odds of hitting an 8 teamer infinitesimal.

You can lose for weeks on end, hit one but come on here and brag, but can you make any money with parlay betting, not just no, HELL NO.

All the parlay bettors are and were losers. Desperate gamblers trying to play catch up by making loser bets.

You don't understand football AND gambling enough to make money wagering.

Hell, you told me that the Bengals weren't a road team when playing the Browns bc both teams were located in Ohio!

Guys that talk like that are weeks or months away from losing their houses. But you're OK there, you don't have a house.

[Teamcheez1]

The business model for sports betting is that consumers lose money. If you win, they go out of business.