Potential Second Coming of the Messiah (Swinson)

[CaptainKickass]

Almost as foretold in the ancient series of tubes. The Messiah (Swinson) had left us all in damnation. But a wise ass said something like "Hey, if he ever makes it back to the Pack it would LITTERALLY be the second coming of The Messiah (Swinson)".

Could the prophecy be unfolding?

Back in Week 1, the Panthers poached tight end Messiah Swinson, who had been with the Packers since signing an undrafted rookie free agent deal with the team in April, off of the practice squad. Swinson, a 6’7”, 259-pound tight end, is best known for his blocking ability. The Panthers never played the Arizona State (by way of Missouri) product, though, and have now waived him after three weeks on the active roster.

https://www.acmepackingcompany.com/2024/9/24/24253454/green-bay-packers-news-poached-practice-squader-waived-by-panthers-messiah-swinson

[CaptainKickass]

THE SECOND COMING FINALLY COMPLETE!

As foretold by the incredibly high council of hosts as well as the highly respected ancient wise-ass...

The Green Bay Packers filled their practice squad by bringing back tight end Messiah Swinson, a source told Packers On SI on Wednesday.

https://www.si.com/nfl/packers/packe...e-01j8nz50agz6

[MadtownPacker]

I’m just glad El Capitan found happiness.

[Fritz]

This is all setting up to be some serious Barney Fuckdoggle action later this season.

You do all realize this, don't you?

[smuggler]

Saint Barney Fuckdoggle is always looming and ever-present -- ready to bless us with the hot piss of a savior clad in green and gold. Why not should this vapor-hot boon be contained in the sizzling bladder of a Messiah?

[Fritz]

Damn straight, Smuggler.

[sharpe1027]

Captain just went all Nostradamus with this thread.

[George Cumby]

Saint Barney Fuckdoggle is always looming and ever-present -- ready to bless us with the hot piss of a savior clad in green and gold. Why not should this vapor-hot boon be contained in the sizzling bladder of a Messiah?

Poetry.

[CaptainKickass]

Captain just went all Nostradamus with this thread.

It's Nostradumbass for those playing the home game!

But listen up my brothers, sisters and believers of the divine right of Lombardi!

Fuckdoggle or not - there have been a couple of supreme signs that this season could indeed be very special, the top two of which are the acquisition of our defensive Lord and Xavier, (AKA The Pineapple himself) Mr. McKinney! And now we have the incredibly prophetic return and second coming of the Messiah (Swinson)! No other football team in history has ever had such concurrent events!


All hail the extra large G!





(The virtual collection plate is unavailable at this time)

[CaptainKickass]

I’m just glad El Capitan found happiness.

BEWARE! Especially of he who has been a false prophet and once disguised himself as a common web designer name Joe just to fuck with you plebes! Rumor is that he also once shot a man for snoring too loud!

We know you are secretly the devil and the evidence is here in the form of the number of the beast (Iron Maiden!) contained within your own previous post! It's even circled in RED! How much more evil could it be?





Begone now all ye devils, witches and other assorted demons and/or midget wrestlers, as you have no place here since the second coming of the Messiah (Swinton) is upon ye!

[Fritz]

“Lord and Xavier” is sublime, Cap’n.

I am sure that Swinson’s wife is thrilled to hear about the second coming of her Messiah.

[CaptainKickass]

Dearly beloved! Yes the playoff sucked follicly well endowed hughgantic gonads of supremely epic proportions - but fear not ye brethren of the cheddar, there IS a silver lining:

The retention of the Messiah!!

The Packers signed the following players to reserve/future deals, which serve as placeholders until the start of the new league year in 2025
TE Messiah Swinson

Anyone can just welcome the Messiah, but it's the keeping of the Messiah that's the most important part.

So say we all.

[MadtownPacker]

BEWARE! Especially of he who has been a false prophet and once disguised himself as a common web designer name Joe just to fuck with you plebes! Rumor is that he also once shot a man for snoring too loud!

We know you are secretly the devil and the evidence is here in the form of the number of the beast (Iron Maiden!) contained within your own previous post! It's even circled in RED! How much more evil could it be?





Begone now all ye devils, witches and other assorted demons and/or midget wrestlers, as you have no place here since the second coming of the Messiah (Swinton) is upon ye!

Ha!! I am 13 post away from the stars (or flames) aligning themselves for you again!

[CaptainKickass]

It appears that with the Packers in need of an emergency addition at Tight End due to injuries to Kraft, Fitzpatrick and Whyle - that there a couple options available with familiarity with the Lafleur offense. Marcedes "The Luxury Automobile" is one of them but another option could possibly be...

THE FOURTH COMING OF THE MESSIAH (Swinson)

(or, wait, maybe it's the fifth or six. I don't really recall)

As foretold by the ancients!

(Ancients = Old grey wrinkly men sitting at a bar drinking early on a Monday)


One aforementioned ancient specifically indicated that The Messiah (Swinson) is sitting on a practice squad for the Arizona Tardinals.

Will he be the Packers Savior this Christmas season?

[CaptainKickass]

I for sure thought that especially with Christmas eve and Christmas day already upon us - there'd certainly be WAY more enthusiasm for the previously foretold return of the Messiah!


j/k