Grant to Change Uniform Number (a Cleft Crusty Exclusive)

[Cleft Crusty]

Ryan Grant has asked for a change in uniform number and the Packer coaching staff has granted his request. Ryan Grant will change from 25 to 30 starting with Sunday's matchup with Carolina at Lambeau field. "It wasn't a selfish thing at all," Grant said in a press conference, "It's in the best interests of the team." Grant has discovered that he, and most likely he alone, can take on the characteristics of former Packers running backs, just by wearing their uniform number. "It was weird. When I put on #25, I started to play like Dorsey Levens. Everyone noticed it. So I figured, why not wear #30 and play like Ahman Green. I mean Levens was pretty good, but Ahman was better." To make room for Grant, John Kuhn gave up his uniform, but he was pretty happy to do so. "Obviously, I'm no Ahman Green - or Henderson for that matter. I'm going to try #33 and see if I don't get better catching the ball and always making the first guy miss." Asked if he was skeptical about Grant's abilities to channel former running backs, Kuhn said "Not at all. It's eerie. One night he was driving me home from the Hutson Center and we drove to some random house by accident. Turned out to be Dorsey's old place. That's scarier than SAWIII." Reached for comment, Mike McCarthy was enthusiastic about the change. "Grant has a rare ability and we're trying to make the most of it. It's too bad Horning's number is retired because can you imagine another Paul Horning? Neither can I. I'm just glad he didn't take 42, because that's LeShon Johnson's old number and Wynn's number - and you saw how much they sucked. The medical staff is hoping he doesn't develop asthma or start fumbling, but we'll have his old uniform on hand, just in case."

[swede]

Man he looks a lot like Ahman Green too!

[Harlan Huckleby]

I once told a black bartender who looks EXACTLY like Muddy Waters, "you look like Muddy Waters, kinda. You could be his son." He is the spittin image, and he is from Mississippi like MW and sings blues. The guy got irritated and said, "You know, you look like Elvis Presley, kinda."

That time was funny. The other time I told a black man he looked like another black guy he read me the riot act. I don't mess with it any more.

Swede, you racist scum.

[swede]

In my defense, white people all look alike to me too.

Mexicans are easy to tell apart because the knife scars are unique.

[FritzDontBlitz]

In my defense, white people all look alike to me too.

Mexicans are easy to tell apart because the knife scars are unique.

Damn. I can't believe I just laughed my ass off at that.

And that sig of yours is classic. "Deep Thoughts by John Handey" I assume?

[Scott Campbell]

If he changes to 30, will he develop asthma?

[Deputy Nutz]

I would rather he be Dorsey Levens and hold on to the football.

[Joemailman]

Does Grant's girlfriend know about this?

[Carolina_Packer]

Hell, if that's the case, let's give John Kuhn #5; screw the number's retirement.

[KYPack]

Does Grant's girlfriend know about this?

Funny, Joe.

You are hot lately.

Let's get that chiquita back on here, now she was a riot.

Somebody start an anti-Torrance Marshall thread.

[Spaulding]

Nice article Cleft, love the humor. Any he might be able to use the chameleon powers on defense as well?

[Fritz]

Cleft, you are scooping the nitwits at the Jourinal Sentinel. Great work.

[mraynrand]

Cleft, you are scooping the nitwits at the Jourinal Sentinel. Great work.

The kind people at the Jourinal Scentedall pay semi-retired Clefty's exorbitant 53 cent/hour wages. they should not be mocked.