Dating Advice. You Ask I Answer!

[Scott Campbell]

Dear Nutz,

Bear with me as this is a 25 year old question, and I want to see if I handled it right. See, I met this girl and she was awesome - a complete stunner, and totally committed to making my sexual gratification her number 1 priority in life. We had been dating for a couple of weeks when she admitted to me that she was a Bear fan.

What should I have done?

[Deputy Nutz]

Dear Nutz,

Bear with me as this is a 25 year old question, and I want to see if I handled it right. See, I met this girl and she was awesome - a complete stunner, and totally committed to making my sexual gratification her number 1 priority in life. We had been dating for a couple of weeks when she admitted to me that she was a Bear fan.

What should I have done?

Well dating a woman that has different interest or that my root for a different sports team can certainly put a strain on a relationship. The Packers and Bears rivalry is serious business, so in turn you should make it serious business in your relationship. You must have two different viewing rooms for sports. You can't watch a Packer game with a Bears fan, and visa versa. When the week comes that the Bears play the Packers, it is time to make a serious wager with this lady that will be paid off in the bed room. You can have your cake and eat it too. And remember she is still a woman and she can't be that manical about football or the Bears as any of us are. She might just root for them because he dad did.

Then again remember this, she will get old, she might get fat, and she might get wrinkles, her boobs will start to sag, she is a Bears fan, which means the odds of her cheating on you are quite good. The Packers will always be there, they will never get old, and they will never leave.

Sex can get old if it is the same old song and dance, but if she was determined to keep your eyes buldging out of your head, and keeps you thinking whats is next in the bed room, or in the park down the steet, or in the bathroom floor of the 7/11 then you might want to hold on to her for a while. If she is bringing her college roomates over and into the bedroom, or she is the one going to the porn shop for little extras in the bedroom then who gives a fuck if her dad is the fucking head coach of the Chicago Bears?

[Patler]

Dear Nutz,

Is it ok to get a drunken BJ from my hot 2nd cousin at the family reunion?

I am going to give ya a big no on that one, even though it is a bit tempting. Hopefully your second cousin has a friend, and any friend no matter what she looks like will do at that point, you don't want to wake up with your second cousin's head burried in your crotch.

Dear Nutz;

Does it make a difference if the second cousin he mentioned was a guy?

[MJZiggy]

And remember she is still a woman and she can't be that manical about football or the Bears as any of us are.

Ahem...Can't?

[Partial]

What is the best method of pleasuring a women post date?

[Deputy Nutz]

What is the best method of pleasuring a women post date?

What the fuck does "post date" mean?

[Partial]

after the dinner and movie.

[RashanGary]

after the dinner and movie.

Post date = Main event damn it....

[Deputy Nutz]

What is the best method of pleasuring a women post date?

Well don't force yourself on her. If this is the first date, lay off, if you went to a dinner and a movie neither one of you are drunk enough to throw caution to the wind. So take it slow, maybe ask her back to your place for coffee and maybe another movie, or if you take her back to her house let her invite you in.

If you have been dating for a while or you manage to get early entry the easiest way to pleasuring a woman is by communication. talk to her make her tell you what she wants, usually when you just guess you fuck up and disappoint her. Ask her what she likes. I am telling all that will listen, the simpliest way to making a woman happy in all aspects of her live is just communicating.

Most woman enjoy the man to go down on them. Again ask her if she likes this, ask her every now and then if your hitting the right spot, or if she is doing ok. The main thing is to pay attention to the little man in the boat, there is no reason to stick your tongue inside her vagina, for godsakes, put your pointer finger in there and don't treat the vagina like your picking your nose, your not searching for anything! You're stroking, when you finally hit the right spot she will let you know with her breathing and whimpering. You make a woman come while going down on her, she will let you do what ever you want next.

[CyclonePackFan]

Dear Nutz,

buttsecks?

[Deputy Nutz]

Dear Nutz,

buttsecks?

Anal Sex is another way to show someone you love them. Most women are really afraid of anal intercourse. If you really want to stick your dick into a lady's rectum, then you need to follow some steps here.

1st float the question out there, if she is totally disgusted with the idea and threatens to cut your dick off if you would ever go near her asshole, then maybe you should back off. If she shows the smallest interest in the idea thats great but don't push it.

2. If the lady showed mild interest in anal sex then you can move on to this step. The next time you go down on this lady do everything you normally would but about half way into oral sex use one of your fingers that is not currently inside her vagina, and masage the area between the vagina and the asshole. Just don't go jamming a finger up her A-hole, it will startle her and probably ruin the moment. IF she is showing that she is uncomfortable with this step than stop and consentrate on the vagina.

3. If your girlfriend or lady friend is getting turned by your finger dance, then start moving closer to the A-hole, massage the A-hole, and the area around it, again just don't jam a finger in there, you have to ease it in and relax her to the sensation.

4. By this time she should be ready for you to place your finger in her rectum. Again you should be doing this when your giving her oral pleasure. You should still be concentrating on her vagina with your mouth, and if your are using both hands. So when you are fingering her rectum, you need to ease the finger in there, don't wiggle it around ease it in and out. Remember your not digging a hole with your finger, there is simply no need to ram your finger as far as it possible can go. She won't like this especially the first time.

5. After you have done this several of times, she should be comfortable with things entering her rectum. She still may not be willing to accept your penis into her asshole, but your making progress. Keep talking to her about it, especially during sex, or fore play. If you all aren't at least talking dirty, then I don't know if your going to be ready for anal sex.

Now you might meet a total freak, and you could be banging that ass during the first sexual encounter, but that rarely happens outside of Penthouse Letters.

[RashanGary]

Good advice Nutz....

A little graphic, but very good instruction.

[RashanGary]

Good points with the massage method as opposed to the ram it and jam it method. It is much more subtle and feels sexy to her as opposed to just ramming something in there.

I also would like to add that you have to make her comfortable about the fact that it could be mildly messy. It rarely is unless she has an anus full of poop and really should be taking a shit and not having butt sex, but she's usually smart enough not to let you go near unless you are so clever and witty that you convince her anyway and that is your own damn fault you witty bastard. I do think making her comfortable and not being a picky little queer about things helps. If she feels gross about her poop filled ass and doesn't want another person putting anything in there, she is pretty normal. You have to let her know that you don't mind her poop, that even her poop is somehow sexy. When she feels comfortable and non-disgusting about it, she'll do it because trust me...she wants it just as bad as you but she just doesn't want the embarassement of her poopy on your dicky. To me this is the biggest barrier.

Sorry Nutz...I had to add to this......It is too funny.

[RashanGary]

If I could give one piece of advice for your sex life that is what I refer to now as "the gift that keeps on giving" I would say purchase her the book titled "tickle his pickle" by Sadie something or other.

Once she knows exactly what she is supposed to be doing, her attitude about giving oral goes from complete chore to fun for both. She likes having the ability to give you extreme pleasure. And you like getting BJ's so it's good for everyone.

My wife bought that book as a birthday gift for me. Holy shit......"the gift that keeps on giving" is still giving today. Well last night was the last time anyway. GET THE BOOK. There is no way you can regret it, and its' even fun for her becuase women like to be the pleasure bringers.

[Deputy Nutz]

Ok everyone lets just look past that whole poop thing in the anus, infact you should probably bring a baby wipe or begin your anal adventure in the shower, or bathtub.

If you have already gone down on this lady friend of yours you know if she keeps proper hygene below the belt. If she smells like a bulldog's fart, then you probably don't want to be messing with no anal sex. She might shit all over you and boy, wouldn't both of you be embarrassed and disgusted.

Once again, I field the questions, and you ask them people. I know you all can't be happily married, and god knows if your not married and your on this forum half as much as I am, you must not be getting any.