Dear chefs,

[Joemailman]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

[channtheman]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

I usually preheat the oven to about 425. The box says 400 but I like to live on the edge. Next comes the hard part. Using a knife (or other sharp edged utensil), carefully cut the plastic around the pizza. Many a nights have been ruined by my careless cutting (I've got the scars to prove it). Another tough one coming up is placing the pizza in the hot oven. Throw it, toss it, shove it, do whatever you have to to get that bitch in without burning your hand (I've got plenty of burn marks from previous fuck ups as well). Lastly, take that bitch out any way you can and enjoy.

[Tarlam!]

You guys are best off shutting the fuck up about Tar's shit!

Nah, that was a serious question! I haven't actively cheffed in 21 years and things develop. I can still wow my kids with my skills - I made meatloaf last night to die for according to them and my deceased wife wanted me to market my bolognaise sauce, as do my kids, but I'm a hack these days.

Back in the day, now, well! I was one of the highest paid chefs in Sydney.

[Tarlam!]

Crab Cakes - Help Wanted!

I love crab cakes, but they're just not sold here. They sell tinned crab meat at the most extortionist prices, but hey, once a year, why not?

Anyway, I googles recipes and they contain mayo. Sounds really wieird to me. Does anybody have a really tasty recipe for me?

[hoosier]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

I usually preheat the oven to about 425. The box says 400 but I like to live on the edge. Next comes the hard part. Using a knife (or other sharp edged utensil), carefully cut the plastic around the pizza. Many a nights have been ruined by my careless cutting (I've got the scars to prove it). Another tough one coming up is placing the pizza in the hot oven. Throw it, toss it, shove it, do whatever you have to to get that bitch in without burning your hand (I've got plenty of burn marks from previous fuck ups as well). Lastly, take that bitch out any way you can and enjoy.

You forgot the biggest question of them all, the mother of all frozen pizza controversies: do you put the frozen pizza directly on the rack or do you put it on a baking sheet. And if a baking sheet, do you add a layer of tin foil so you don't have to scrub and wash the cookie sheet afterwards?

[hoosier]

Crab Cakes - Help Wanted!

I love crab cakes, but they're just not sold here. They sell tinned crab meat at the most extortionist prices, but hey, once a year, why not?

Anyway, I googles recipes and they contain mayo. Sounds really wieird to me. Does anybody have a really tasty recipe for me?

Yes, go to Baltimore and do it right. Anything else is either a waste of time or an invitation to intestinal decomposition.

[Little Whiskey]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

I usually preheat the oven to about 425. The box says 400 but I like to live on the edge. Next comes the hard part. Using a knife (or other sharp edged utensil), carefully cut the plastic around the pizza. Many a nights have been ruined by my careless cutting (I've got the scars to prove it). Another tough one coming up is placing the pizza in the hot oven. Throw it, toss it, shove it, do whatever you have to to get that bitch in without burning your hand (I've got plenty of burn marks from previous fuck ups as well). Lastly, take that bitch out any way you can and enjoy.

You forgot the biggest question of them all, the mother of all frozen pizza controversies: do you put the frozen pizza directly on the rack or do you put it on a baking sheet. And if a baking sheet, do you add a layer of tin foil so you don't have to scrub and wash the cookie sheet afterwards?

I would also add. give that bitch a chance to cool before consumption. there is no burn worse than one from pizza sauce!

[Little Whiskey]

Maybe it's the flour I'm lacking. I rinse & dry, then salt, egg and Progresso Italian Bread Crumbs. Then the plan was to sprinkle with Parmesan and sea salt just before taking out of the pan, but didn't get that far...

Zig, my wife always uses flour, egg, then bread crumbs. the flour helps the egg to stick.

[MJZiggy]

Any tips on the best way to bake a frozen pizza?

I usually preheat the oven to about 425. The box says 400 but I like to live on the edge. Next comes the hard part. Using a knife (or other sharp edged utensil), carefully cut the plastic around the pizza. Many a nights have been ruined by my careless cutting (I've got the scars to prove it). Another tough one coming up is placing the pizza in the hot oven. Throw it, toss it, shove it, do whatever you have to to get that bitch in without burning your hand (I've got plenty of burn marks from previous fuck ups as well). Lastly, take that bitch out any way you can and enjoy.

Here's how we do it (not recommended for gas ovens). Take pizza out of wrapper put it directly on the rack. Turn oven on. When the oven is done preheating, check the pizza. It should need one minute more.

[Little Whiskey]

My vote is for a pizza stone or at the very least a pan. I hate when stuff falls off and burns to the bottom of the oven!

[MichiganPackerFan]

ALWAYS make sure to remove the cardboard from the bottom of the frozen pizza. Cardboard is NOT good eats.

[Deputy Nutz]

Crab Cakes - Help Wanted!

I love crab cakes, but they're just not sold here. They sell tinned crab meat at the most extortionist prices, but hey, once a year, why not?

Anyway, I googles recipes and they contain mayo. Sounds really wieird to me. Does anybody have a really tasty recipe for me?

buy the canned crab, lump. or whatever don't use crab leg meat.

add lemon, salt pepper, salad dressing(mayo) enough so you can make balls or patties, don't over do it nobody likes the taste of cheap mayo in crab cake.

I like to mince carrot, some onion,

Fuck add whatever you think would taste good, or use this fucking internet thing, it works fucking wonders. All recipes are fucking stolen from someone else anyways.

[Tarlam!]

use this fucking internet thing, it works fucking wonders. All recipes are fucking stolen from someone else anyways.

Yeah, but see, I can't really believe the Mayo part, which I have to now because I've met you and you said it's true. And, anybody that can throw a football like you can, I have to believe.

So, I used the internet "thing" and didn't believe it. You, I believe.

[SkinBasket]

My vote is for a pizza stone or at the very least a pan. I hate when stuff falls off and burns to the bottom of the oven!

We've been using this same stone for over a decade and have never looked back.

[3irty1]

* 2 eggs, plus 2 tablespoons water, beaten, for egg wash[/color]
* Panko, processed into fine crumbs, or fresh dried white breadcrumbs
* Peanut oil for frying

Score the coated scaloppini with four shallow knife cuts in a cross-hatch pattern to help prevent curling while cooking

Well, you might call it Wienerschnitzel, but you'd be wrong.

Milk is used, not water. I don't know what Panko is, neither do any Chefs in Vienna. I'm not sure what fresh dried breadcrumbs are.

You do not want to use anything but a neutral oil or a high-temp margerine, not the kind you might spread on your bread. And with the number of people who have peanut allergies these days, why peanut??? Don't forget, veal has a very delicate flavour, you need to compliment it and not overpower it.

A true Wienerschnitzel is too thin to score this way, because the scallopini has been flattened before breading. Remember, this was once peasant farmer food. They stretched the calorries and found a way to use 2 day old, hardened bread buns doing this.

Also, part of the beauty of the Schnitzel is that the breading, if done properly, form a cocoon around the veal. By scoring it, I don't see how that could form.

Now, I am highly qualified for this: I was born in Vienna, My mother was Viennese, My daughter and Son were born to a Viennese mother, I was married in Vienna, My Grandma, who is 90 year's old, lives in a Viennese nursing home, My daughter is returning from a week's vacation tonight, you guessed it, form Vienna AND my nephew, works as a chef in, Vienna.

God, that felt good.

Ziggy, the flour is imperative or the egg wash won't stick.

Peanut oil is neutral and the highly processed peanut oil purchased in American supermarkets is non-allergenic. Peanut oil has a monster smoke point making it a great choice for frying meat as one can better finish the breading without overcooking the thin, easily overcooked scallopini.

Panko is a Japanese style breadcrumb that is popular in America. They are made from bread without crusts and are lighter, airier, and crisper than traditional breadcrumbs. They definitely make food look good but I don't reach for them often as they generally have no real advantage other than the visual. The light, crispiness, and general lack of flavor might actually make them perfect for wienerschnitzel. Howard is right on that they'd have to be ground up further though as stock panko is far too coarse for something that thin and everything would fall off in a pan.

You're nitpicking the 2 T of water he adds to his egg-wash? We know that milk is mostly water... do you honestly believe that subbing water for milk is grounds for saying his schnitzel isn't schnitzel? if he's the one making it he can call it whatever he wants. Even by apparently intolerant Vienna standards his wienerschnitzel described above does not vary so much from the traditional.

Tarlam you would hate the restaurant I worked in. Ordering Pumpkin pie gets you a cube of pumpkin jello skewered on a burning cinnamon stick and tempura fried served in a champagne flute with bourbon syrup. Now that's non-traditional.