Hey, this is my 100th post!

[Harlan Huckleby]

My favorite Yakov Smirnoff joke:

"I grew up in a communist country. Communism is a system where man oppresses man. Under capitalism, it's just the opposite."

[CyclonePackFan]

The whole malt beverage is used to hook teenagers. I was at a friends party and he and some of his friends were drinking Smirnoff Twisted. There is nothing more pathetic than seeing a kid claiming, "I think I'm drunk," after a half bottle of Smirnoff. They drink being drunk is cool.

I don't see how it's concievably possible to get drunk off malt beverages (well, unless you're REALLY a featherweight...) I always got horrid rot-gut after about 2 of them and had to stop. That's why I switched to Jager

[Harlan Huckleby]

a couple more Yakov Smirnoffs:

“Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.”

“In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.”

“I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.”

[Partial]

The gut rut from those smirnoff things is nasty, I agree 100%.

If i'm drinkin' to get drunk, I go for pitchers of miller light. If I am drinkin' to enjoy a beer, I go for a berry weise or a hacker pschorr. If am a going fruity, I enjoy a good orange juice/lemonaid vodka or a blue lagoon.

Jaeger bombs are good but so expensive!

[superfan]

Since this turned into a drinking thread, I couldn't resist posting a link to a fabulous site. Enjoy.

http://www.bumwine.com/

[BallHawk]

The whole malt beverage is used to hook teenagers. I was at a friends party and he and some of his friends were drinking Smirnoff Twisted. There is nothing more pathetic than seeing a kid claiming, "I think I'm drunk," after a half bottle of Smirnoff. They drink being drunk is cool.

I don't see how it's concievably possible to get drunk off malt beverages

I don't really think you can get drunk off those. They are like 7 proof or something. You would have to drink at least 7 of those to get some affects. Yeah, but that gut rut is a bitch.

But, this one kid thought he was drunk after about 3 swigs. Whether he was joking, or got it into his mind he really was drunk, I do not know.

One thing that I did last year for Language Arts, was I made a cocktail for my classmates(Cinderella, Non-Alcoholic Of course.) They liked it so much, and one of them asked why it was so good. I responded, telling them I had used a special concoction of beverages that could cause them to get very hyper. For the rest of the class they were jumping jump up and down and begging for more, like a crack addict. Well, you should of seen the look on their face when I told them the only sweet thing that was in it was Splenda. They walked out of the class quitely, after that.

It's just how much you want to belive it.

[GBRulz]

HA, that's funny, Ballhawk!! Speaking of "putting your mind to something".... when my sister was in college, she was approached by a group of teenagers to go buy them alcohol. The kids didn't have a whole lot of money, so they asked for some Boone's Farm. Ya know, that quality, 3 dollar a bottle wine? Well, my sis and her friends said ok and for the teenagers to come back in an hour. Being a financially strapped college student herself, she bought 5 bottles, came back to her place, put the Boone's Farm in a different container of her own and filled the bottles back up with a couple different flavors of kool-aid. Gave the bottles to the teens and as her and her friends drank the stuff they put into the containers, they proceeded to watch the teenagers get "drunk" on kool-aid.

[BallHawk]

Great story, GB!