Helping those in Need

[Deputy Nutz]

I have a situation on my street. My daughter has been playing with a neighborhood kid that lives just down the street. They have been playing all summer together mostly in our yard. He is a nice kid that has treated and played well with my younger daughter. Recently he told my daughter that his mom sleeps on the couch and he sleeps on the floor.

My wife and I are in a financial position to help, but you all know that pride can be a mother fucker. how do you approach someone with the intent to offer them help to support their child?

He is also starting school this fall, and my wife and I want to make sure that he has everything he needs to start the school year, school supplies, a back pack, cloths, winter jacket.

I honestly don't know how to go about it. Should we do it anonymously? Should we ask the mother? Or should we just give it to them?

[GrnBay007]

Do you ever have conversations with the mom?

[GrnBay007]

Re: Helping those in Need

He is also starting school this fall, and my wife and I want to make sure that he has everything he needs to start the school year, school supplies, a back pack, cloths, winter jacket.

As far as these items go, you can easily pack up a box and get it to her anonymously. That would be very nice.

As far as furniture goes, that would be a lot harder to deal with....unless you know and talk to the mom frequently. Then you could just say you have some stuff you want to get rid of and ask her if she has any use for it.

[Freak Out]

Re: Helping those in Need

I have a situation on my street. My daughter has been playing with a neighborhood kid that lives just down the street. They have been playing all summer together mostly in our yard. He is a nice kid that has treated and played well with my younger daughter. Recently he told my daughter that his mom sleeps on the couch and he sleeps on the floor.

My wife and I are in a financial position to help, but you all know that pride can be a mother fucker. how do you approach someone with the intent to offer them help to support their child?

He is also starting school this fall, and my wife and I want to make sure that he has everything he needs to start the school year, school supplies, a back pack, cloths, winter jacket.

I honestly don't know how to go about it. Should we do it anonymously? Should we ask the mother? Or should we just give it to them?

They do this because they lack beds, meaning $$ to buy them or space to put them? Do they live in a one room house? Hell man...just walk down the street with your daughter and say hello, bring a box of school supplies saying you bought WAY TO MUCH and was wondering if they could use any. Pack a lunch for the kid everyday and have your daughter bring it to share. In most cases real world necessity will win out over pride where those things are concerned and the fact that most people will stop and help a fellow human in a time of need. Get a jacket his size and treat it like it is a hand-me-down and give it to them....and so on..

[MadtownPacker]

Is there a dad in all this?

If not then a single mother might be more receptive to help. You should just straight up ask her. Not your wife, you.

If their is a dad in the picture find out WTF he does that they aint got now $$. You better be careful, you might not like what you find out.

[Harlan Huckleby]

If you just drop it off, they'll probably figure out it was you. I wouldn't like that so mcuh if I were them

I think the lady would be most appreciative if you talked to her first; certainly don't give to the kid directly.

I know what I would do: pack the stuff into the trunk of your car, and go over there and close the deal. Once you get anything ressembling "maybe" or "OK", you quickly unload unto the porch and just as quickly leave.

Are you a charming person? Or are you a big klutz? I fear it could be the latter. Well, the most charming between you and your wife will have to do. Try to be relaxed.

[MadtownPacker]

I think a lady would find a man more easier to accept something from. With a woman pride might kick in.

[Deputy Nutz]

Is there a dad in all this?

If not then a single mother might be more receptive to help. You should just straight up ask her. Not your wife, you.

If their is a dad in the picture find out WTF he does that they aint got now $$. You better be careful, you might not like what you find out.

Big surprise the dad is in the pokey.

[SkinBasket]

Is there a dad in all this?

If not then a single mother might be more receptive to help. You should just straight up ask her. Not your wife, you.

If their is a dad in the picture find out WTF he does that they aint got now $$. You better be careful, you might not like what you find out.

Big surprise the dad is in the pokey.

I would say invite her over for a play-date with the kids. Tell her how much you like her kid and mention what the kid said, then say you want to help. If you guys have been helped before - I know I sure as hell have been - let her know, and say you want to do the same. Hell, even mention how awkward it is if you want. Kill the fucking elephant in the room instead of walking around it.

If you want me to come over and give her a back rub before hand to loosen her up, let me know. I have magic fingers.

[MJZiggy]

I would say invite her over for a play-date with the kids. Tell her how much you like her kid and mention what the kid said, then say you want to help. If you guys have been helped before - I know I sure as hell have been - let her know, and say you want to do the same. Hell, even mention how awkward it is if you want. Kill the fucking elephant in the room instead of walking around it.

If you want me to come over and give her a back rub before hand to loosen her up, let me know. I have magic fingers.

I like this. Honest, straightforward and helps her to retain some dignity. As far as lunches go, there should be a program to make sure all the kids in the school get a proper lunch (and in some places breakfast too) If not then make sure the two of them get lunch together and I would pack an extra large lunch for the two of them rather than a separate lunch for him. You could do the same with the school supplies. Send them to the classroom for whoever needs them and they will get used by him or someone who needs them.

[SkinBasket]

I like this. Honest, straightforward and helps her to retain some dignity.

You're referring to the back rub right?

[Scott Campbell]

I would say invite her over for a play-date with the kids. Tell her how much you like her kid and mention what the kid said, then say you want to help. If you guys have been helped before - I know I sure as hell have been - let her know, and say you want to do the same. Hell, even mention how awkward it is if you want. Kill the fucking elephant in the room instead of walking around it.

If you want me to come over and give her a back rub before hand to loosen her up, let me know. I have magic fingers.

I like this. Honest, straightforward and helps her to retain some dignity.

I like this approach too. And I think Skin's found his calling - teaching etiquette.

[MJZiggy]

By the way, Nutz, I am really impressed with the fact that when you see a situation like this your thoughts turned to helping this family that needs it. There are too many people in the world who would say, "that's really sad" or something like that and not want to put forth the time and money to help out so kudos to you for that.

And Skin, that depends on exactly how magic those fingers are!! (read out of context, that could sound very bad so please be sure to read Skin's last post...)