I'm dying

[SkinBasket]

Well not in the way Lawyer Joe was dying, but I am sick. I think my throat is bleeding and it's hard to stay awake more than 3 hours at a time. Any suggestions for getting better quicker?

[MJZiggy]

Go to the doctor. Last time my throat was bleeding they gave me ulcer medicine to coat it and that worked to settle the cough too. Otherwise sleep as much as possible. And if you're actually coughing up blood, like blood in your hand, go to the ER.

[hoosier]

If you have flu like symptoms that keep getting worse, make sure you have durable power of attorney for health care papers in order. And then do like the other poster said and go to the ER. Make sure you're tested for the dreaded adenovirus.

[MadtownPacker]

I sounds like you might start turning into a zombie. I suggest putting some hot lead into you brain. That will fix it.

[SkinBasket]

The ER is for emergencies and pussies. I'm looking for something more holistic, like Mad's suggestion, but less permanent.

[hoosier]

Kick a table leg with your bare toes. It might not make you better but it will take your mind off your festering illness for a while. If that doesn't help, try kicking the family pet.

[K-town]

Re: I'm dying

Well not in the way Lawyer Joe was dying, but I am sick. I think my throat is bleeding and it's hard to stay awake more than 3 hours at a time. Any suggestions for getting better quicker?

Sounds like mono.
Who you been kissing lately?

Or maybe I don't want to know.

Two approaches:
1) Manly-man "what does not kill me makes me stronger" - mas Tequila!!
2) Sane/boring - see a doctor. But not the ones from Grey's Anatomy.
Unless you have a death wish. Death by annoyance.

[MJZiggy]

The ER is for emergencies and pussies. I'm looking for something more holistic, like Mad's suggestion, but less permanent.

The ER may be for emergencies and pussies, but the doctor is for whiners who are willing to complain about their cold on a football forum. If you're not willing to go to the doc, then have a shot of whatever you have handy and go back to bed. Otherwise, just do what all men do. Complain to your wife about it.

[GoPackGo]

Re: I'm dying

I think my throat is bleeding and it's hard to stay awake more than 3 hours at a time. Any suggestions for getting better quicker?

put down the water bong for a day or two

[Badgepack]

Hydrocodones can fix anything, even when nothing is wrong.

[SkinBasket]

The ER may be for emergencies and pussies, but the doctor is for whiners who are willing to complain about their cold on a football forum. If you're not willing to go to the doc, then have a shot of whatever you have handy and go back to bed. Otherwise, just do what all men do. Complain to your wife about it.

I'm looking for home remedies, not squirrelly man hate.

[Freak Out]

I use some of these teas when I have a head cold/sore throat.

http://www.traditionalmedicinals.com/

The throat coat is great...the Herba Tussin and Cold Care work great. The Gypsy cold care is great.

Very good scotch or a vintage port work well. Good Brandy...warmed. Gluwein.

[Freak Out]

My wife has a great cold recipe...I'll get it for you. Onions and honey....lemon I think? Cayenne pepper....it works good.

[SkinBasket]

My wife has a great cold recipe...I'll get it for you. Onions and honey....lemon I think? Cayenne pepper....it works good.

Maybe I should just stretch until I can lick my own ass. Sounds like it would taste better. I've tried wine and vodka the last two nights to no avail.

I've decided on Excedrin and Red Bull - the same recipe we used to make babies. Gives me a boner every time, and if a boner doesn't help, nothing will.

[SkinBasket]

Oh, and I'll try to find some of this Throat Coat you speak of. It sounds sexy. Will it give me an infection?