Official Tarlem for NFLE Commissioner Thread

[billy_oliver880]

Can you imagine attending an NFLE game in Amsterdam loaded up on brownies? Talk about heaven. I don't think I'd ever leave the stadium.

tyler

More then likey I would be walking around on the field during the game.

Might not be a bad thing. It's NFL-E. They may throw you into the game. Either that or think you're an American celebrity.

Funny connection to the Caddyshack thread: perhaps you could "try out" the Amsterdam field grass to see if its any good.

tyler

I don't need no stinkin helmet or pads either...we are doing this rugby style!

[Tarlam!]

There are better places than Amsterdam and under my commishnership I will illuminate them!

[BlueBrewer]

Will you rename the teams or leave alone? I would rename.

[Tarlam!]

Will you rename the teams or leave alone? I would rename.

Well, I would firstly see where they should be located. I think 5 outta 6 teams in Deutschland is fucking stupid...

[BlueBrewer]

Agreed there are a lot of countries in Europe, why not expand.

[The Leaper]

I'm still sitting here dreaming about naked Swedish cheerleaders...

Who the hell cares about what is happening on the field? No straight male will be watching the football if a bunch of hot naked blondes are on the sidelines.

So...replace crappy NFL talent on the field with cheerleaders. Because Sweden isn't very big, we might have to open it up to cheerleaders of other European nations as well to meet roster requirements...but I'm totally game for that.

The NFL network's ratings will go through the roof.

[jack's smirking revenge]

Agreed. Spread it out more.

How about a team in Romania? They could be the Impailers.

Or a team in Italy? They could be the Popes.

Or a team in Spain? They could be Quixotes.

Or a team in France? They could be the Doormats. (Sorry. Truly nothing against France. Just sounded appropriately funny.)



tyler

[Tarlam!]

You people just want my job. great ideas, but I am feeling very threatened...

[jack's smirking revenge]

You people just want my job. great ideas, but I am feeling very threatened...

No need to feel threatened. You've got a leg up against the majority of us: location. I'd move back to Europe in a second, but the NFLE Commish would have to give me a cushy job dealing with Swedish cheerleaders.

tyler

[BlueBrewer]

I would like to submit my application for Cheerleader Talent Scout.

[Tarlam!]

Guys, I know the Swedish girl’s thing is legendary, and, I have been to Sweden, Norway and Helsinki many times. They are really sweet. BUT, what you guys are looking for is located in the Baltic states, notably in the city of Tallinn (capital of Estonia), and also in Ukraine, notably in Kiev. Run a Google on Ukrainian Girls….

O.K. The term NFLE just died.

* The new league will be called NFL – II, to position it as the farm league it rightfully should be.
* The training camp starts the day after the NFL draft.
* The regular season is 10 games. You play your division rivals 2 times, the other division teams 1 time.
* Playoffs: First plays second for the division title. Winners play the “Almost Super Bowl”
* 4 Teams share a farm team. Roster of 50 players, 10 from each team. 10 are FA acquisitions and/or locals. That way, you are certain to find a kicker, punter etc, if the teams do not delegate specialists.
* If you had a player in the NFL-II, and he makes your practice squad, he is yours. He cannot be stolen by another team until the following year.
* The new, improved 8 NFL-II teams are:

NORTH
Amsterdam Admirals……â€à ‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦.(Packers, Buffalo, Houston, Seattle)
Hamburg Sea Devils……†¦ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦..(Vikings, Jets, Jacksonville, St. Louis)
London Fire………à ƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â ‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦.(Bears, Miami, Indy, Arizona)
Stockholm Centurions……â₠¬Ã‚¦..(Detroit, Patriots, Tennessee, 49ers)

SOUTH

Paris Frenchies……†¦â€¦â€¦â€¦. .(Giants, Atlanta, Oakland, Pittsburgh)
Berlin Thunder……â€Â ¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦.(Redskins, Tampa, San Diego, Bengals)
Monte Carlo Galaxy……†¦.….(Cowboys, New Orleans, Kansas, Cleveland)
Roman Cardinals (Not the bird!)(Philly, Carolina, Denver, Baltimore)

[Tarlam!]

Now hiring:

Commish……â€Â ¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â†šÂ¬Ã‚¦..Tarlam!
Assistant Commish North……… ..??
Assistant Commish South……… .??
CFO………à ¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â⠀šÂ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬à ‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦??
Interleague Liason Officer……†¦..?? (Main contact to NFL, prolly the biggest job)
League Marketing Guru..……†¦ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦??
League Sponsorship Getter……†¦??

TEAM GM:

Amsterdam Admirals……â€à ‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦.??
Hamburg Sea Devils……†¦ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦..??
London Fire………à ƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â ‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦.??
Stockholm Centurions……â₠¬Ã‚¦..??
Paris Frenchies……†¦â€¦â€¦â€¦. .??
Berlin Thunder……â€Â ¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦.??
Monte Carlo Galaxy……†¦.….??
Roman Cardinals ............??

Most Difficult Jobs:

Chairman of the Cheerleader Selection Committee….??
Cheerleader Scout North……… ………âà ¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚ ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦..jacks smirking revenge
Cheerleader Scout South……… ………âà ¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚ ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦.BlueBrewer
Trainee Cheerleader Scout……… ………âà ¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚ ¬Ã‚¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦..??
Assistant Trainee Cheerleader Scout……… ………âà ¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦??

[Tarlam!]

Check out NFL.com. The videos. They have a Miami Cheerleaders video. Check it out, if you wanna apply....

[BlueBrewer]

That is well thought out, good work Tarlem

[HarveyWallbangers]

Bring back the Scottish Claymores or add an Irish team, and allocate Packers players to them.