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2014 Mockery of the Draft

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  • #1

    2014 Mockery of the Draft

    No one had started one up yet as far as I can tell so WTF. I've got a couple minutes. We're 4 days away so not much time to assign picks to people so it's a FFA this year. Lets just start with saying trades are off the table.

    Scene: Radio City Music Hall
    :Godell takes the podium amidst the normal amount of booing for the incredible job he's been doing:

    With the first overall pick in the 2014 NFL draft, the Huston Texans select - Jadaveon Clowney, defensive end, South Carolina.

    The St Louis Rams are on the clock...
    Originally posted by 3irty1
    This is museum quality stupidity.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Rams can't trade? They pick Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson.

    Comment

    • #3
      Jacksonville selects LB Khalil Mack.
      "There's a lot of interest in the draft. It's great. But quite frankly, most of the people that are commenting on it don't know anything about what they are talking about."--Ted Thompson

      Comment

      • #4
        No. 4 Cleveland selects QB Johnny "Football" Manziel Texas A&M
        Now what y'all know about dem Texas boys
        Comin' down in candied toys, smokin' weed and talkin' noise!!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Originally posted by Harv
          Jacksonville selects LB Khalil Mack.
          IMO Jax has the best seat in the house. Top 3 prospects are all great, they just have to sit in this spot and see who falls to them. I also think they are the most likely to get good offers when other teams see who is left at this point. I think the #11 pick is also coveted, that first slot below the line in the sand that drops the salary of the 5th year option significantly.

          Originally posted by BZnDallas View Post
          No. 4 Cleveland selects QB Johnny "Football" Manziel Texas A&M
          And the world rolls their eyes and chuckles into their hands.

          McKenzie figures everybody else must've blinked and missed something, sprints to the podium and selects Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn.
          Last edited by Guiness; 05-05-2014, 09:07 AM.
          --
          Imagine for a moment a world without hypothetical situations...

          Comment

          • #6
            So we have:

            1. Houston - Jadaveon Clowney - DE - South Carolina
            2. St. Louis - Sammy Watkins - WR - Clemson
            3. Jacksonville - Khalil Mack - LB - Buffalo
            4. Cleveland - Johnny Manziel - QB - Texas A & M
            5. Oakland - Greg Robinson - OT - Auburn

            With the 6th Pick the Atlanta Falcons select:

            Jake Matthews - OT - Texas A & M

            Tampa Bay is on the clock.
            I can't run no more with that lawless crowd
            While the killers in high places say their prayers out loud
            But they've summoned, they've summoned up a thundercloud
            They're going to hear from me - Leonard Cohen

            Comment

            • #7
              With the 6th Pick of the 2014 NFL Draft:

              The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are very happy to select :

              WR: Mike Evans Texas A&M.
              ** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
              ** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
              ** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
              ** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau

              Comment

              • #8
                With the 8th pick of the 2014 NFL Draft:

                The Minnesota Vikings select Aaron Donald, DT, Pittsburgh



                1. Houston - Jadaveon Clowney - DE - South Carolina
                2. St. Louis - Sammy Watkins - WR - Clemson
                3. Jacksonville - Khalil Mack - LB - Buffalo
                4. Cleveland - Johnny Manziel - QB - Texas A & M
                5. Oakland - Greg Robinson - OT - Auburn
                6. Atlanta - Jake Matthews - OT - Texas A & M
                7. Tampa Bay - Mike Evans - WR - Texas A&M
                8. Minnesota - Aaron Donald - DT - Pittsburgh


                Spielman rumors of defensive pick are a double fake. He leaked to truth to hide the truth.
                Bud Adams told me the franchise he admired the most was the Kansas City Chiefs. Then he asked for more hookers and blow.

                Comment

                • #9
                  1. Houston - Jadaveon Clowney - DE - South Carolina (Zool)
                  2. St. Louis - Sammy Watkins - WR - Clemson (smuggler)
                  3. Jacksonville - Khalil Mack - LB - Buffalo (HarveyWallbangers)
                  4. Cleveland - Johnny Manziel - QB - Texas A & M (BZnDallas)
                  5. Oakland - Greg Robinson - OT - Auburn (Guinness)
                  6. Atlanta - Jake Matthews - OT - Texas A&M (Joemailman)
                  7. Tampa Bay - Mike Evans - WR - Texas A&M (woodbuck27)
                  8. Minnesota - Aaron Donald - DT - Pittsburgh (pbmax)

                  Buffalo is on the clock...
                  I can't run no more with that lawless crowd
                  While the killers in high places say their prayers out loud
                  But they've summoned, they've summoned up a thundercloud
                  They're going to hear from me - Leonard Cohen

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Bills need help all over, but the chance to land a franchise LT at the 9th pick is too hard to resist:

                    Taylor Lewan
                    The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary -- Vince Lombardi

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Lions in "win now" mode, and since they frantically tried to trade up, but didn't get Watkins or Evans, they pick Anthony Barr, DE.
                      "The Devine era is actually worse than you remember if you go back and look at it."

                      KYPack

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Fritz View Post
                        Lions in "win now" mode, and since they frantically tried to trade up, but didn't get Watkins or Evans, they pick Anthony Barr, DE.
                        1. Houston - Jadaveon Clowney - DE - South Carolina (Zool)
                        2. St. Louis - Sammy Watkins - WR - Clemson (smuggler)
                        3. Jacksonville - Khalil Mack - LB - Buffalo (HarveyWallbangers)
                        4. Cleveland - Johnny Manziel - QB - Texas A & M (BZnDallas)
                        5. Oakland - Greg Robinson - OT - Auburn (Guinness)
                        6. Atlanta - Jake Matthews - OT - Texas A&M (Joemailman)
                        7. Tampa Bay - Mike Evans - WR - Texas A&M (woodbuck27)
                        8. Minnesota - Aaron Donald - DT - Pittsburgh (pbmax)
                        9. Buffalo - Taylor Lewan - OT - Michigan (bobblehead)
                        10. Detroit - Anthony Barr - DE/OLB - UCLA (Fritz)

                        With the Titans deciding not to pick up the 5th year on Locker, they instead draft for the future by selecing Blake Bortels - QB - UCF

                        The NY Giants are on the clock.
                        Originally posted by 3irty1
                        This is museum quality stupidity.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Zool View Post
                          1. Houston - Jadaveon Clowney - DE - South Carolina (Zool)
                          2. St. Louis - Sammy Watkins - WR - Clemson (smuggler)
                          3. Jacksonville - Khalil Mack - LB - Buffalo (HarveyWallbangers)
                          4. Cleveland - Johnny Manziel - QB - Texas A & M (BZnDallas)
                          5. Oakland - Greg Robinson - OT - Auburn (Guinness)
                          6. Atlanta - Jake Matthews - OT - Texas A&M (Joemailman)
                          7. Tampa Bay - Mike Evans - WR - Texas A&M (woodbuck27)
                          8. Minnesota - Aaron Donald - DT - Pittsburgh (pbmax)
                          9. Buffalo - Taylor Lewan - OT - Michigan (bobblehead)
                          10. Detroit - Anthony Barr - DE/OLB - UCLA (Fritz)

                          With the Titans deciding not to pick up the 5th year on Locker, they instead draft for the future by selecing Blake Bortels - QB - UCF

                          The NY Giants are on the clock.
                          The Giants need some more OL to help Eli settle down. They'll take Zack Martin.
                          When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro ~Hunter S.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Rams on the clock for Pick #12. They went big on offense with their first selection and the Big Three tackles are gone. They will give Fisher someone to help his D's porous backend.

                            With the 12th pick in the 2014 NFL Draft, the Cleveland/Los Angeles/Anaheim/St. Louis Rams select:

                            Ha Ha Clinton-Dix - FS - Alabama

                            Da Bears are on the clock.
                            Bud Adams told me the franchise he admired the most was the Kansas City Chiefs. Then he asked for more hookers and blow.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              1. Houston - Jadaveon Clowney - DE - South Carolina (Zool)
                              2. St. Louis - Sammy Watkins - WR - Clemson (smuggler)
                              3. Jacksonville - Khalil Mack - LB - Buffalo (HarveyWallbangers)
                              4. Cleveland - Johnny Manziel - QB - Texas A & M (BZnDallas)
                              5. Oakland - Greg Robinson - OT - Auburn (Guinness)
                              6. Atlanta - Jake Matthews - OT - Texas A&M (Joemailman)
                              7. Tampa Bay - Mike Evans - WR - Texas A&M (woodbuck27)
                              8. Minnesota - Aaron Donald - DT - Pittsburgh (pbmax)
                              9. Buffalo - Taylor Lewan - OT - Michigan (bobblehead)
                              10. Detroit - Anthony Barr - DE/OLB - UCLA (Fritz)
                              11. Tennessee - Blake Bortles - QB - Central Florida
                              12. New York Giants - Zack Martin - OT - Notre Dame
                              13. St. Louis - Hasean 'Ha Ha' Clinton-Dix - FS- Alabama

                              The Chicago Bears are on the clock .... and they pick !??
                              ** Since 2006 3 X Pro Pickem' Champion; 4 X Runner-Up and 3 X 3rd place.
                              ** To download Jesus Loves Me ring tones, you'll need a cell phone mame
                              ** If God doesn't fish, play poker or pull for " the Packers ", exactly what does HE do with his buds?
                              ** Rather than love, money or fame - give me TRUTH: Henry D. Thoreau

                              Comment

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