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The Barney Fuckdoggle Award

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  • The Barney Fuckdoggle Award

    Originally posted by guywhoshouldwriteforPackerrats
    Chiefs at Packers: The Packers have a knack for having unheralded players step up and play well when it matters most and it is fucking INFURIATING. I would like the loss of a star player to crush them. But NO… no, they always have some asshole behind him ready to go because they’re committed to internal player development because they’re so goddamn PERFECT. Bah! I want scrubs to be SCRUBS. I want to be able to laugh at a rival team for having to put Barney Fuckdoggle in at corner or whatever. It’s a real let-down when Barney turns into a hidden gem, and Collinsworth is like, “You know, Al. I think I really LIKE this Fuckdoggle guy!” That never happens with my team. With my team, the shitty players are shitty.
    This guy is awesome. If he isn't a member of Packerrats, he should be. Someone extend an offer. It's like he was writing this for us.

    In his honor, I think we should have a Barney Fuckdoggle award each week. Obviously, week two is Jayrone Elliott, to whom this upstanding gentleman was referring. Jayrone is an awesome guy, who deserves this honor not only for coming out of nowhere to force two turnovers, but for also being a brilliant playa off the field. A young buck who dresses well and knows that at a charity benefit with hotties in miniskirts, the last person you want to talk to is a some balding 48 year-old who wants to talk Xs and Os like your position coach. Head for the hotties, Jayrone! Accept the week two award with all the attendant glories!

    Someone else can backtrack and nominate/award Week 1.

    2015 Barney Fuckdoggle Award Winners:

    Week 1: ???
    Week 2: Jayrone Elliott
    "Never, never ever support a punk like mraynrand. Rather be as I am and feel real sympathy for his sickness." - Woodbuck

  • #2
    I swear Collinsworth's voice was in my head as I read “You know, Al. I think I really LIKE this Fuckdoggle guy!” Spot on.

    I think the Fuckdoggle needs to be handed out on an as-earned basis. Can't force a Fuckdoggle. They are extruded out of the heat and pressure of unpredictable intersections of complex events.

    Oh but the Fuckdoggle is real to be sure and Jayrone is deserving.

    Point of clarification please: in the JE anecdote were you balding or wearing a mini?
    [QUOTE=George Cumby] ...every draft (Ted) would pick a solid, dependable, smart, athletically limited linebacker...the guy who isn't doing drugs, going to strip bars, knocking around his girlfriend or making any plays of game changing significance.

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    • #3
      I heard that over 40% of our roster is undrafted or drafted in the final two rounds.
      Swede: My expertise in this area is extensive. The essential difference between a "battleship" and an "aircraft carrier" is that an aircraft carrier requires five direct hits to sink, but it takes only four direct hits to sink a battleship.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Tony Oday View Post
        I heard that over 40% of our roster is undrafted or drafted in the final two rounds.
        Sooo...40% are Fuckdoggle eligible. Good to know.
        [QUOTE=George Cumby] ...every draft (Ted) would pick a solid, dependable, smart, athletically limited linebacker...the guy who isn't doing drugs, going to strip bars, knocking around his girlfriend or making any plays of game changing significance.

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        • #5
          Week 1 - Nate Palmer in for Barrington?
          sigpic

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Brohm View Post
            Week 1 - Nate Palmer in for Barrington?
            Or Starks for Lacy? A semi-forgotten vet that gets no press, but steps into a big role and holds the fort...

            I tend to agree with Swede though. To pick someone during week when there might be no one deserving cheapens the glory of a true Fuckdoggle.
            --
            Imagine for a moment a world without hypothetical situations...

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            • #7
              Starks went in for Lacy versus the Seahawks. Can a Fuckdoggle Award go to a former starter? If yes, then perhaps Barclay for subbing in for Bulaga (reason: no one suffered season ending injury)?

              Week 1's Stud list:

              Studs

              Aaron Rodgers - 18-23, 189, 3 TD 0 INT

              James Jones - 4-51, 2 TD's (Shoulda been 3)

              Lacy - 19-85, 1 TD Bounced it outside a bit too much, but ran hard inside.

              Clay Matthews - Key INT and great play to run down Forte

              ST: Adams (not being Bostick), Monty (returns)

              O Line

              There aren't a lot of scrubs on that list.
              Bud Adams told me the franchise he admired the most was the Kansas City Chiefs. Then he asked for more hookers and blow.

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              • #8
                Looking at your list pb, I gotta say it goes to JJ. Cut by two teams this season, moves from the Giants roster to the Packers at final cutdown and catches 2 TD passes 7 days later? Ya, that's a Fuckdoggle extraordinaire!
                --
                Imagine for a moment a world without hypothetical situations...

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                • #9
                  Threads like this make Packerrats the bastion of enlightenment and higher thought that it is. This place is a lonely candle light in the vast, ever growing, dank, dark wilderness that is the interwebs.

                  Count my vote for not forcing the Fuckdoggle. A Fuckdoggle must be earned, not just handed out like a participation award.

                  Starters, generally, don't get the Fuckdoggle. JJ being the exception for week one as G so eloquently articulated.

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                  • #10
                    This Fuckdoggle guy, is he the new owner of Rats?

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                    • #11
                      Nice
                      Formerly known as JustinHarrell.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by KYPack View Post
                        This Fuckdoggle guy, is he the new owner of Rats?
                        I think he's a Tweener.

                        Tech Support and OLB.
                        Bud Adams told me the franchise he admired the most was the Kansas City Chiefs. Then he asked for more hookers and blow.

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                        • #13
                          I agree. Don't force the Fuckdoggle. But keep it in mind and we'll hand out the award when it's due.

                          And Swede, I was the balding guy, but I was watching the skirts (sort of, the wife was hovering nearby).
                          "Never, never ever support a punk like mraynrand. Rather be as I am and feel real sympathy for his sickness." - Woodbuck

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                          • #14
                            The James Jones situation is an interesting one Fuckdogglewise.

                            He was no unknown. He has been a hot commodity as a free agent. He was a good receiver for Oakland. But then he gets cut by two teams and plays like a league star for us.

                            That is a Fuckdoggle of a different color.
                            [QUOTE=George Cumby] ...every draft (Ted) would pick a solid, dependable, smart, athletically limited linebacker...the guy who isn't doing drugs, going to strip bars, knocking around his girlfriend or making any plays of game changing significance.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by swede View Post
                              The James Jones situation is an interesting one Fuckdogglewise.

                              He was no unknown. He has been a hot commodity as a free agent. He was a good receiver for Oakland. But then he gets cut by two teams and plays like a league star for us.

                              That is a Fuckdoggle of a different color.
                              I would call it a Doggfuckle, which is a reverse Fuckdoggle. Cue John Madden. It's when a guy who used to be okay gets cut and then--BOOM--he comes back and bites you in the ass.

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