Dating Advice. You Ask I Answer!

[Deputy Nutz]

I was giving a little bit of dating advice to our dear friend Tank and he said I should write a book. Well lets just start off on a advice thread and see where it goes from there.

We did something like this on JSO with the N&B's Show. It did, well average but I am bored so I am ready to give it another try.

[Little Whiskey]

why don't you head over and have a beer with murph. I think he's got enough for everyone. actually he brought the wine, but stop on by and bring your glass.

[Deputy Nutz]

why don't you head over and have a beer with murph. I think he's got enough for everyone. actually he brought the wine, but stop on by and bring your glass.

Well this is our first question of the night, who to score a number at a party with alcohol. Well first make sure that if your coming to bring something that you know girls are going to drink, like a Mike's Hard Lemonaide or a Schmrnof Ice or something. Even bring a couple of bottles of cheap wine, but make sure it looks nice. Some girls just aren't going to drink beer, and even if their friends do, if their is nothing there for them to drink they are gong to drag away their beer drinking friends.

Secondly if there is a girl you are interested don't get super plowed. Bring her a drink a time or two. And if you want to be shady have one of your buddies bump into her and act like a jerk, then come to her rescue, don't be super macho, be sensitive in dealing with this "jerk". Then ask her if she would like to go outside for some fresh air.

Most importantly work the room, just don't sit around talking to your dipshit friends, girls aren't going to come to you.

[Murphy37]

I like to wear tight polyester pants, and I often get erections. Is that cool?

[Deputy Nutz]

I like to wear tight polyester pants, and I often get erections. Is that cool?

As long as you are at the right establishment, but I didn't know you were gay?

Seriously folks, if you are at a club and you actually get a woman to dance with you and it gets kinda dirty, be careful with the wood, it might actually turn the girl off. Have some control. Whacking it might not do it before you go out, that just helps to prolong intercourse if you get that far. Think about your mother naked, or baseball, or your naked mother playing third base for the Royals, but whatever you do, don't pop wood 2 minutes into the grind, it might be ok later in the night if she keeps rubbing on ya, that means she probably like the fact that you are sporting wood. My only question to you is why are you sill there at the club?

[Murphy37]

Ok, but what about the polyester?

[Deputy Nutz]

Ok, but what about the polyester?

Well this is dating advice not fabric advice. Polyester, isn't as sexy as it once was, I know I think it is bullshit as well. I guess if your wife likes it, or Buffalo Bill enjoys it thats all that matters.

[Murphy37]

What about pullin out your junk on the dance floor. Is that still cool? What should you pull out? The beans, or the frank? Do you play a little game of peek-a-boo? Or do you just leave it out like your trollin for walleyes?

[Deputy Nutz]

What about pullin out your junk on the dance floor. Is that still cool? What should you pull out? The beans, or the frank? Do you play a little game of peek-a-boo? Or do you just leave it out like your trollin for walleyes?

My advice to you is that you let her pull it out. If you do it then your just that typical pervert with his weiner hanging out. Now if you have a remarkable weiner then I say try it once or twice, depending on what type of club your at. Now I know that you and your wife are swingers and all, so what you do at your type of establishments is your own bag.

[Murphy37]

Well I got the giggles. That shit is just too funny. Ooops, bottles almost gone.

[Little Whiskey]

dear nutz, is it okay to show her your peace maker on the first date?

signed,

the smoking gun

[Deputy Nutz]

dear nutz, is it okay to show her your peace maker on the first date?

signed,

the smoking gun

Um no, unless it is a prostitute, but make sure that you have already sealed the deal with her. If you just hang your dick out the window while you drive by the corner, most likely your going to get some shit thrown at you or your going a mad as pimp chasing your ass down.

[Murphy37]

Seriously though, I'd be interested to know what the dating scene is like these days. I've been with the same wonderful gal so long, I'm beginning to forget about all the beautiful large breasted, long legged, flexible, large lipped, long haired, tightly shavin females that I once had relations with. Do chicks still put out these days? Or is it mostly handjobs and dry ridin'?

[Deputy Nutz]

Girls that are now in college grew up with Brittany Spears as their role model, along with all those other slutts dancing around, My estimated guess is that they put out a lot faster then the lovely prudes that we dated back in the day.

[HarveyWallbangers]

Left hand or right hand?

Doggy Style or the Jack Hammer?

Is it okay to use sex toys when you are spending the night with Rosie?