COACHING AND KIDS AND WINNING AND SPORTSMANSHIP

[GrnBay007]

We compromised with rotating playing time 5/6 graders, and playing to win with the 7/8 graders. It really is about developing skills, both mental and physical, for the younger ones. They start to separate themselves after a couple years (and THEY know it).

I agree. With the lower levels, or younger kids I think the focus should be on developing skills and building confidence. They can't do either without some playing time. I think you can do that for the most part while still trying to win. I'd let the two best start and play the majority of the game while bringing the others in to play. However, I would sit the two best for a short time ...to be "fair" and keep everyone happy. When my son was in 7/8 the coaches said they would try to get everyone to play....however, they were going to try to win games. At the beginning of my son's 9th grade football season, at the team/parent meeting a the beginning of the season, the coach made it clear...the best will play. He said he refused to have any conversations with parents about their kid not playing. If a player wanted to know why they weren't playing they needed to speak to him directly, not have his parents do so. I applaud that coaching style and I wish it had been used a few years earlier by some of the coaches my son had. Just last year in the all star state championship I witnessed a father get into a shouting match with the coach about his kid not getting to play much. Coach gave in and played the kid even though he was the only one on the team who missed close to 1/2 the practices going into the tournament. What message does that show the other kids?

Just recently I asked my son who his favorite coach was after 9 years of baseball. His answer surprised me as he didn't get a lot of playing time that year in minors. When I asked why he said because that coach taught him the most about baseball. It wasn't about the playing time in games, it was about learning and developing his skills. Looking back on it that year really was a turning point for him and he's always had a lot of playing time since.

I hope all coaches out there at younger levels really focus on developing the skills of all the kids that have a desire to learn. When you think about it the kids that have above average skills usually get that from having someone at home teaching/pushing them or were put on traveling teams at a pretty young age. Not all kids have that opportunity. I only had my son on a traveling team for two years and I know it was very costly.

[mraynrand]

some real good comments in here.....SC........ouch......lol

Before responding to a few posts I'll share a memory I will NEVER ever forget.

Years ago when I was a full time teacher I was also a varsity girls softball coach. My first year as coach we were pretty good but in year two we were devoid of talent. Good teams would run rule us early since we didn't have a gal who could throw a good windmill and bad teams would still beat us up some as well.

Had a senior gal come up to me and ask why she was not getting more playing time. Nice girl and all; but in reality she was about a 13th player on a bad team and not good enough to be on most teams. I was honest with her at the beginning of the year and let her know what I envisioned her role being.....a good attitude player....but somebody who would not see much playing time during the season because other players were just more advanced. My response to her was honest and sincere about why she was not playing much over others............but deep down I still felt like crap about the whole thing...........

FAST FORWARD THREE DAYS LATER....................

We were playing at home against about the best team in the state in Middleton. That team had about the best pitcher in the state (I think her last name was Hellickson) , and the gal who I think was the best all around girl athlete that came through Wisconsin in Angie Halblieb....all state in VB, BB, and Softball.

We were so overmatched that against four of their ten hitters, I pulled my second baseman (if there was nobody on first base) to play four outfielders. Overall the strategy was working. As a coach my hope was to not get run ruled; I knew that giving up 20 runs against this team in four innings was a possibility with this mismatch.

We were playing great D and going into the fifth inning we were trailing 7-1.......parents were happy........all was good with the world. Voices were in my head and I decided to put this girl in at the top of the 5th. We got a couple outs and they got a couple hits. And then a walk to load the bases up with two outs.

One of the girls at the bottom of their order.......hit......a slicing line drive toward right. And yes, you know how it ends. The girl who I felt sympathy for......and put into the game against my better judgment....misjuded the ball, it sliced away from her.

Yup

Inside the Park Home Run

11-1

Run Rule

Game Over


That is one that I will never ever forget

I would have instructed my pitcher to throw a steady stream of bean balls.

[wootah]

Who needs you more? Where will you have the most impact?

I decided to stay with my current team, but I admit that I was tempted to switch. It would be nice to have enough quality players to try exotic tactics and formations which are simply not possible right now. It would be nice to have enough players of the same age group and not having to play with boys 2 or 3 years younger than their opponents, simply because there aren't enough older players (and get slaughtered because of that). It would be nice to have a supportive club behind you instead of a president who dislikes you because you want training material or decent accomodation. And it would be nice to win, dammit, all day, every day

But when I thought about why I started coaching, the choice was clear. It started from helping kids. Learning technical skills or creating better soccerplayers has never been the goal as a coach; they have been the means by which I want to learn some lessons about life and about themselves.

I don't like the run rule and I'm glad we don't have it over here. I don't like the "everybody deserves a trophy"-mentality. Youth sports can be pretty merciless at times. We've faced some tough defeats and embarassing losses over the years. The first year, it happened frequently that teams which were up 10 goals tried to score on us with their goalie. The other teams' coaches probably thought this was "a funny story" to tell to the colleagues on Monday at the coffeemachine, but for my players, the parents and myself this was pure humiliation. I hated the other coach's guts when that happened, but it was out of our control, so we could only take it on the chin and use this as motivation to work even harder.

Scott, your comments are very harsh. If you cannot relate to the frustrations that come with coaching and how difficult it can be to control that in the heat of the moment, I suggest trying it yourself. You might be surprised how hard it can be.

[Bretsky]

wootah......I kind of thought you would lean that way
I think Scott was just kind of being a smart ass and kidding with that remark

[Scott Campbell]

wootah......I kind of thought you would lean that way
I think Scott was just kind of being a smart ass and kidding with that remark

I was trying to channel my inner Skinbasket. I'm glad somebody noticed.

[LEWCWA]

I coached my daughters softball teams for a few years, until they moved up to select softball. The thing I learned early was that I needed to be fair and consistant. At the beginning of the year, I would have a meeting and lay out our goals for the season. Part of that was, that all players would play, but I wouldn't play everyone at every position and the players would earn their spots and playing time. I had plenty of girls say they wanted to pitch, my answer was always (My daughter was the main pitcher) we come out to practice an hour before everyone else to pitch. If you want to pitch, come out early and learn to pitch. When you show me that you are willing to put in some extra work, I will find you some innings. Most didn't bother, a couple did and I found them some innings. The thing is I believe hard work should matter. If they want it bad enough they will put in the work. I never gave my girls anything, they earned it.

[LEWCWA]

By earning it, they went 33-9 over a 3 year period and won 2 city championships. Hence Rosebudrat team name......... My older daughter is a freshman this season and is playing varsity over several other upperclassman. She has worked hard since she was 5 and it is paying off. I remember when she was 8, I took a 10u team that nobody wanted to coach and played her up. One game, she didn't throw the ball to 2nd on a hit to CF and thew it directly to the pitcher instead giving up an extra base. I pulled her instantly, and had a talk with her in the dugout. Then put her back in the game after one batter. Some parents wondered why I would do such a thing. My thought was she wasn't going to understand if I yelled across the field, but I wanted her to learn from that mistake. Anyhow, I pushed these girls hard all year, we lost every game we played, until the city championships and everything finally came together and we made the finals. This is the moment I will never forget! We were up 4-3 in the championship game with the other team at bat 2 runners on 2 out girl hits a backspinning little ball just to the
1st base side of the pitcher. The batter starts running to 1st easily 2 feet inside the baseline and the ball spins back and she kicks it toward the 1st base dugout. (Dumb ump alert) Girl should have been out, we win, ump not only doesn't call the girl out, calls it a fair ball (to this day I have no clue how) both runners score, we lose 5-4. It was a great weekend, after losing all our season games, but damn I would have been nice to get that big trophy!

[LEWCWA]

My most satisfying moment or game came with the Rosebuds, We were playing another good team that had a little pitch they called lefty, she was very good. My younger daughter was our pitcher and she wasn't too bad in her own right. Well neither pitcher disappointed threw 3.5 innings. This was 10u fastpitch, with no walks, the coach would finish at bats if a pitcher got to 4 balls b4 a hit or out, and serve up meatballs! Anyhow threw 3.5 innings both girls were lights out. I think, I finished one at bat and the other teams coach finished 2. It was the best matchup I had seen. Then in the bottom of the 4th, LEFTY(she could hit too) led off with a triple, my daughter struck out the next batter, then went to a 4 ball count and the girl hit a little grounder to 2nd scoring the games first run. The next batter struck out. we were down 1-0 and the 5th would be the last inning as we were up against a clock as well. My daughter went to the end of the dugout sat down by herself and hung her head. She felt like she let the team down. I didn't notice right away, trying to get my girls ready to hit. Anyhow, I finally saw her, walked up to the fence and yelled very loud, get your head up and be proud you have pitched a great game. I don't know how we are going to do it but I am going to find you 2 runs and I still need 3 outs from you so get your head up and get ready! My #4 hitter started the inning with a single up the middle, they threw the ball away and she ended up at second, next batter hits a ball to 2nd they throw it away, runners on 1st and 3rd. Past ball scores runner, runner on 2nd. Next batter K's, Lefty feeling some pressure goes to 4 ball count I get to pitch. solid hit to left, runner scores, another 4 ball count, ground ball to 2nd and scores 3rd run after she had stolen bases to 3rd. next batter gets out. I am amped! I look at Nicole, I told you I we would get you your runs now get us 3 outs!!! They start with a 4 ball hit, then a K, then another hit. runners on 2nd and 3rd 1 out. next batter K's, 2 out,,,,,next batter hits the ball in the hole between 2nd and 1st ball is going through they are going to tie the game. I am mortified! Then just as we have practiced a bunch, my right field comes charging up (with the young girls, I always had my RF playing in that hole pretty shallow) fields the ball and fires to 1st gets her by a step and we win. It was awsome! I have to believe my girls heard my talking to Nicole and they knew they had to step up, she had pitched a great game and they weren't going to let her lose 1-0. Those girls seemed to have that in them, when I got on them they seemed to respond.