Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

[Scott Campbell]

Seriously - I did not make this up. I wish I would have thought of it.

http://boards.chicagobears.com/forums/thread/1607544.aspx

[Scott Campbell]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

This is some funny shit:

What people DON'T know about Jay is that he is very, very strong. We are not talking pumped up bicep, ripped pec strong like a LeBron James. We are talking house-like strong all over, ...from head to toe, more like a Carmello Anthony. You know the type, those guys who seem to have smooth, almost flabby tone to their muscles, but can lift a freaking house? Yeah....that strong. I've watched LB'ers get in Cutler's face after a busted play trying to taunt him. Jay shoved the LB lightly, once in the chest with his right hand. The LB flies backward about 2 yards, lands on his kazoo, and starts screaming for a ref (who was watching the whole thing). Jay just shakes his head and walks back to the huddle.

[Scott Campbell]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

Seriously, I am not making this up:

At the Scouting Combine before he was drafted, ...on a lark, Jay Cutler hit the 225-lbs bench press machine. He pumped out 30 reps. That made him the 4th stongest PERSON coming out of college that year. He now throws TD passes for the Chicago Bears.

Do NOT mess around with Jay Cutler. He may look like a baby face, but that's it. He's stone-cold once that helmet gets on. And it's a fair bet that this QB is the strongest man in the stadium on any given Sunday. Pat Bowlen messed with Jay. Josh McDaniels messed with Jay. Now Jay plays for the team he wanted to play for since he was a little boy. They lost. Jay won.

Jay sounds dreamy.

[Scott Campbell]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

Damn - it's like reading Tiger Beat.

Jay is dedicated. Jay is not above telling other members of his offense to get their stuff up to snuff and how to do it. He will wear Bear WR's hands out during the off-season. He has been known to have WR's actually move in with him temporarily so that they could get on the same page as Jay. Jay has no problem creating urgency with slow learners at this. Jay runs a huddle, not a nursery school. He expects to score every time he is on the field, and expects all other members of the offense to assist him in this. It's non-negotiable for him. I've rarely seen such competitiveness and fire on the field. Think Elway and Farve.

[Scott Campbell]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

He scares the living crap out of opposing defenses. He can do anything and they have no idea what he will do on any given play.

People LOVE to compare Jay Cutler to both Brett Farve and John Elway, both SB Champions and HOF's (future in Farve's case).

Is this fair?

Of course it is. Jay is that talented and that's who he reminds people of when they see him play. I have seen all three play, and have followed Elway's career about as close as it could be followed.

Jay Cutler is already better than John Elway OR Brett Farve. He's that good.

To tell you the honest truth, he's the best QB I've ever seen play the game in the 40 years I've been watching it. And as a John Elway fan since he played HS, that's hard for me to say.....but it's the truth. He's better.

He's the Michael Jordan of the NFL.

He's like Chuck Norris, with a pigskin.

[Scott Campbell]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

And because no Jay Cutler biography would be complete without a retelling of the time he had the squirts back in high school, Scott Campbell proudly presents:

During one game that year, Heritage Hills was playing North Posey, a small country school. A few plays into the game, Cutler was struck with a virus that was going around the school. He called a timeout, ran to the sideline and told coach Bob Clayton he had to, ahem, go. And the cornfield wasn't going to cut it. With no other restroom facilities in the immediate area, Cutler held it for a few plays on defense, then ran directly out of the end zone, through an open field, and past the parking lot until he finally reached the school, where he banged on doors until a janitor finally let him.

Upon his return, Cutler, the fastest kid in Spencer County, scored on a 65-yard punt return, a 24-yard interception return, a 44-yard run and threw a 55-yard touchdown pass in a 69-3 victory.

[Scott Campbell]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

Was it silly for me to say that Michael Jordan would be the best player to ever pick up a basketball when he was a freshman at Carolina? 'Cause I said that.

Was it silly for me to say that John Elway would lead his team to more Superbowls than any QB in NFL history? 'Cause I said that too when Elway was a senior at Stanford.

Silly is as silly does, and I'm going with my eyes, ears, and instincts, not to mention my track record.

I know the goods when I see them and he's the best.

[CaptainKickass]

What a good idea Scott -

Start a thread and then post like 6 replies to it yourself.

Just get yourself an imaginary friend already. Geez.

.

[KYPack]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

[quote="Scott Campbell"]Seriously, I am not making this up:

At the Scouting Combine before he was drafted, ...on a lark, Jay Cutler hit the 225-lbs bench press machine. He pumped out 30 reps. That made him the 4th stongest PERSON coming out of college that year. He now throws TD passes for the Chicago Bears.

That was actually 23 reps at 225. And nobody does it "on a lark".

Good for a QB. Brady Quinn did it 25.

There is also no way that 23 reps makes you the 4th strongest person in the draft. Those lineman tear that shit up.

[]{ilr]3]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

This is some funny shit:

What people DON'T know about Jay is that he is very, very strong. We are not talking pumped up bicep, ripped pec strong like a LeBron James. We are talking house-like strong all over, ...from head to toe, more like a Carmello Anthony. You know the type, those guys who seem to have smooth, almost flabby tone to their muscles, but can lift a freaking house? Yeah....that strong. I've watched LB'ers get in Cutler's face after a busted play trying to taunt him. Jay shoved the LB lightly, once in the chest with his right hand. The LB flies backward about 2 yards, lands on his kazoo, and starts screaming for a ref (who was watching the whole thing). Jay just shakes his head and walks back to the huddle.

He is Retard Strong then?

[Fritz]

That is some seriously amusing stuff, Scott.

It reminded me of some of Skinbasket's pictures in the garbage can forum...one guy on his knees, slathering-

Oops. But you know what I mean, whether you've visited the garbage can or not.

[swede]

Hey, what if there were a supernerdfan?

A lot of regular football fans don't know this, but Jay Cutler has some seriously fast martial arts moves that can't even be caught on instant replay. One time he threw a 70 yard bomb, ran downfield and karate chopped the D-back and got back behind the line of scrimmage before the play was even over. He doesn't look fast, but trust me...he is.

[Scott Campbell]

Re: Bear Fan Comedy - An Unbiased Review Of Jay Cutler

Do NOT mess around with Jay Cutler.

[pbmax]

I love that he is not LeBron strong, fake strong with visibly pumped pecs and biceps, but Carmelo Anthony strong. Which looks flubby but is strong like a house.

That has to be a Packer or Bronco fan that posted this.

[KYPack]

I love that he is not LeBron strong, fake strong with visibly pumped pecs and biceps, but Carmelo Anthony strong. Which looks flubby but is strong like a house.

That has to be a Packer or Bronco fan that posted this.

Can't say I exactly understand "strong like a house".

The poster claims to be a huge Elway and Cutler freak. Guy's gotta be 45 or so. Should somebody that age gush stupid stuff like that?