Ty the Greek!!!

[Tyrone Bigguns]

Cleft Crusty has put his entire salary on the line based on Ty's picks. 500 bucks has turned into a cool 2K.

Buy Mrs. Crusty something...remember, every kiss begins at Kay!!

I bought her a new washing machine. Perhaps that's why she isn't talking to me. You could say my scheme has succeeded.

You overplayed that hand. A simple hand held dirt devil woulda done the same, and left you more money for Plavix and Ditropan.

[Tarlam!]

Was Ty, when he typed "Fuck it, take the Saints", exhaling or inhaling?

Can somebody pass the gravy? My crow is really dry today.

[Tyrone Bigguns]

Was Ty, when he typed "Fuck it, take the Saints", exhaling or inhaling?

Can somebody pass the gravy? My crow is really dry today.

You don't need to eat crow. Ty doesn't take it personally. Your loss, could have made some bank the past 2 weeks.

But, it is common. Many geniuses arent' recognized in their time.

[Tyrone Bigguns]

Guess who's back, back again, Ty is back...

Please, please, no more applause.

OK, clap a little longer if you like.

Ty was perfect last week...excluding the bonus.

Well folks, another exciting weekend of NFL football. Another weekend that offers packerrats a chance to make money....Let me hear you say make money, money. Make money money....for our rap readers...or for our mostly white readers, a little Randy Newman:

It's Money That I Love
They say that's money
Can't buy love in this world
But it'll get you a half-pound of cocaine
And a sixteen-year old girl
And a great big long limousine
On a hot September night
Now that may not be love
But it is all right

(ty does not endorse 16 year old girls...wink wink nudge nudge)


Gmen vs. Bucs. Do i even have to say who is laying points? "My college coach told me that when I get the ball in my hands, run like I had stolen something," said gmen cb johson, who got a pick against Big D. Johnson played at the U. Folks, you just can't write this kinda material. Gold, jerry, gold.

A battle tween a team that fired it's OC and a team that...well, if you've watched the Gmen....their OC makes Bob Schnelker seem creative...C'mon Gmen, get into the 21st century, run a reverse. Giants...covered 16 of 19 on the road. Against TB? Make that 17 of 20. Ty is riding TB all season....riding them to riches. They suck, and are the early fav to can their coach. Raheem start polishing up that resume cause you will be joining fired OC jags on the sideline.

Houston vs. Jags. Texans giving points. Line is fluctuating tween 3.5 and 4. The human statue was almost perfect against the jags last week. "It almost feels like I stole the record a little bit because I really didn't have to do a whole lot other just kind of throw it to the open guy. It was kind of easy," said Kurt Warner. Schaub killed the Titans thru the air. Jags can't get any pressure against QB....that spells trouble for the secondary. Take the Texans.

Titans vs. Jets. Jets giving 2.5. One thing we know about the Jets. They historically can not stand prosperity. Ty thought the bubble would burst last week, but not a chance. Ty just can't see the Titans going 0-3. I guess it could happen...then leading to them whipping of like 8 in row. Ty has mad respect (or whatever Mobb would say) for Jeff Fisher. Anyone who can coach and wear that pornstache rules. In a "win it so Vince doesn't get on the field and save the packerrats message board from endless partial VY posts" upset special...go with the Titans.

BONUS BONUS BONUS

Pack vs. Lambs. Pack giving 6.5. Ty usually refrains from betting on the pack or giving advice as his head and heart can get confused. Kinda like being around strippers....his big head says stay away.....his much bigger head says "she is different, she is really working her way thru med school, she is sniffling cause she has a cold, she really would hang with me even if i was broke". Anyway, Pack by like 30 points. Book it.

Have a great weekend. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams..bitches!!!

[woodbuck27]

Each week Ty will give you 3 games that are locks. You will make money. By the end of the season you will be up, big time. Partial, fuck the 401, the roth, the house....why take 30 when you be done in one.

1. Dallas vs. Bucs. Dallas is giving the points. Bucs are a mess. Raheem Brock is the black Morty Mohrinweg. Bucs acquired Kellen Winslow, good. Brock wants to have a power run game, you need a blocking TE. That ain't Winslow. The Boys have 3 pro bowlers on their OL...the bucs have jimmy wilkerson and ryan sims on the DL. Yuck. In the "we kept our OC you didn't" contest, go with BigD.

Result: Dallas 34 - Tampa Bay 21


2. Pats vs. bills. Pats giving points. GQ is back and he has all the weapons. His line is good. Pats defense is young and untested. bills have a nice defense, but no marshawn. Lots of rookies on the oline. In the "we kept our OC you didn't" redux, take the Pats.


Result: NE 25 - Buffalo 24

3. vikes vs. browns. Vikes giving points. Mangini didn't want to name his qb, but he will have to play someone. Browns run defense has been putrid since..well, they were reborn in 99. Peterson could have a field day, though with a Ryan as coordinator, some crazy scheme to stop him could be in play. Ty suggest hiding some cutlasses in their unis..fits with Ryan's cute pirate look. In the "we kept our first year OC, but maybe we shouldn't have" take the vikes. Oh, yeah, i heard the vikes got a new qb.


Result: Minnesota 24 - Clevland 21

Now, i realize that some of you may have an ethical dilemma placing a bet on the vikes, so i made one more super selection for you.

Cards vs. Niners. Cards giving points. Niners went 5-4 after Singletary took over. Cards limped into the playoffs and went on a run, barely beating the Niners to do it. Cards have performed lacklusterly in preseason, Q is not going to get many snaps and hasn't practiced since b4 the GB game, Fitz doesn't play great against the niners, breaston has been dinged, and the superbowl hangover is in full effect. Fun fact, Cards haven't had a 100 yard rusher in week 1 since Stump Mitchell in 88 (fuck you KY, i'm ready for THE CITADEL PART 2: WE DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT UP NORTH) In a "please coach, don't drop your trousers again" contest, take the Niners.


Result: San Fran 20 - Arizona 16
_________________


Sorry folks, a bit late with the picks. A few to many margs at Los Dos Molinas and then a steady stream of svedka vodka and off brand sprite while playing Beatles Rockband deterred me from posting last nite. BTW, Ty will say his enjoyment of Rockband was enhanced by playing the Mac bass, but it was diminished by having to play lame songs like Bulldog. Don't kid yourselves, the Beatles wrote some crap.

Anyway, Ty was 4-0 last week, but only 3-1 against the spread.


This weeks picks:

1. Buffalo vs. Tampa. Buff giving points, 5. When TB played GB, it was the Battle of the Bays..this is the battle of coaches who fired their offensive coordinators in a last ditch effort to save their jobs. Mr. Brock, you are gonna lose that battle. TB is awful, and Ty will ride their awfulness to the bank. Bucs have a better chance of surviving Niagara falls in a barrel than winning this game. Take Buffalo.

Result: Buffalo 33 - Tampa Bay 20

2. Oakland vs. KC. KC giving points. Ty is on the Oakland bandwagon. They are appreciable better than last year. Seymour is a beast. Word outta KC is Cassel is moving around better. Sounds like Ty's aunt florence after her hip replacement surgery. Oakland wont' even need the points, they are gonna flat out win.

Result: Oakland 13 - KC 10

Ty knows...dreadful games. Remember folks, betting isn't about watching good games, it is about COLD HARD CASH!!!

3. Eagles vs. Saints. Line has changed from saints getting 1 to even. Ty is going off the reservation. Saints have a dreadful record on the road against teams with an over 500 record. Fuck it, take the saints.

Result: New Orleans 48 - Philly 22

BONUS PICK:

Jets vs. Pats. Pats giving. Lots of talk. Jets squawking. Something about not kissing rings. Pats have more SBs this decade than Jets have division crowns in 40 years. This game shoulda been the Jets', but Ty firmly believes that too much talking by the Jets angers the football gods. Take the Pats. Mr. Ryan, methinks you won't be kissing a ring, but someone's ass.

Result: NY Jets 16 - NE 9

_________________

Ty's doing pretty good so far.

[Bretsky]

Bretsky called Ty betting on the Pack last week; I'd lay money on that game but it would nearly guarantee a loss so I will lay off

[Fritz]

Ty, I am beginning to consider betting on your picks my second job. I'm doing well, thank you.

Unfortunately I am that guy at the track who bets two bucks to show on the favorite, so I'm not making a whole lot. But I don't really know where to go to put the bets in, so once I learn where that is and how to do it, I will be quitting my day job.

[Tarlam!]

Sorry folks, a bit late with the picks. A few to many margs at Los Dos Molinas and then a steady stream of svedka vodka and off brand sprite while playing Beatles Rockband deterred me from posting last nite.

Don't apologize, just don't try and hijack the thread. You weren't missed, so why pretend you were?

[gex]

Any Rats looking for a good site to place your wagers and want a free $50.00 to start with, go to:
ODDSMAKER.COM and use promo code BTH50 and referral code 1274354.

[Tyrone Bigguns]

Ty, I am beginning to consider betting on your picks my second job. I'm doing well, thank you.

Unfortunately I am that guy at the track who bets two bucks to show on the favorite, so I'm not making a whole lot. But I don't really know where to go to put the bets in, so once I learn where that is and how to do it, I will be quitting my day job.

Ty is pleased for your success. Please feel free to pass these tips on to any local UAW worker. SOLIDARITY!!!

[pbmax]

Sorry folks, a bit late with the picks. A few to many margs at Los Dos Molinas and then a steady stream of svedka vodka and off brand sprite while playing Beatles Rockband deterred me from posting last nite.

Don't apologize, just don't try and hijack the thread. You weren't missed, so why pretend you were?

Tar, I think he was quoting Ty.

[Tyrone Bigguns]

Sorry folks, a bit late with the picks. A few to many margs at Los Dos Molinas and then a steady stream of svedka vodka and off brand sprite while playing Beatles Rockband deterred me from posting last nite.

Don't apologize, just don't try and hijack the thread. You weren't missed, so why pretend you were?

Tar, I think he was quoting Ty.

Ty is busting a gut thinking of Woody on rockband.

C'mon pb, did you read the picks...ty put in some humor....VY, etc.

[falco]

Sorry folks, a bit late with the picks. A few to many margs at Los Dos Molinas and then a steady stream of svedka vodka and off brand sprite while playing Beatles Rockband deterred me from posting last nite.

Don't apologize, just don't try and hijack the thread. You weren't missed, so why pretend you were?

Tar, I think he was quoting Ty.

open mouth, insert foot

Tarlam, you might want to take a deep breath before being ass next time.

[Tyrone Bigguns]

Sorry folks, a bit late with the picks. A few to many margs at Los Dos Molinas and then a steady stream of svedka vodka and off brand sprite while playing Beatles Rockband deterred me from posting last nite.

Don't apologize, just don't try and hijack the thread. You weren't missed, so why pretend you were?

Tar, I think he was quoting Ty.

open mouth, insert foot

Tarlam, you might want to take a deep breath before being ass next time.

It was funny, but in Tar's defense...what the fuck is woody doing by cutting all of ty's work, bolding it, etc.

How about he just reads it and leaves a comment.

[pbmax]

Sorry folks, a bit late with the picks. A few to many margs at Los Dos Molinas and then a steady stream of svedka vodka and off brand sprite while playing Beatles Rockband deterred me from posting last nite.

Don't apologize, just don't try and hijack the thread. You weren't missed, so why pretend you were?

Tar, I think he was quoting Ty.

Ty is busting a gut thinking of Woody on rockband.

C'mon pb, did you read the picks...ty put in some humor....VY, etc.

Yep, caught it.

Unfortunately for us all, VY is still in the conversation. He even made the GameDay thread.

Also just in, Rodgers third best QB in division because of hypothetical injury.

Cannot believe Jags won that game, but the Texans have been wobblier than the Pack since the pre-season.