The Official Kickass Opening 53 Packer Roster Nickname List 2019-20 Season

[RashanGary]

Are we using bacon for Gary?

[Zool]

The Baconator

[CaptainKickass]

Some of you younger folks might not get this, but I feel the need to post an update on Billy Turner. I feel like his performances are rather binary in that he has either a really good game or a really bad game and thus I submit an exception for him to be subject to a dual-nickname based on performance. Plus, it's fucking funny.

So, when Billy Turner is handing out the beating, his nickname will be:
Ike Turner

But when Billy Turner is receiving the beating his nickname will be:
Tina Turner


This has been a public service message. You may now return to your regularly scheduled football dramas.

[mraynrand]

I prefer Turnstile when he sucks. But to each his own.

[StPaulPackFan]

Some of you younger folks might not get this, but I feel the need to post an update on Billy Turner. I feel like his performances are rather binary in that he has either a really good game or a really bad game and thus I submit an exception for him to be subject to a dual-nickname based on performance. Plus, it's fucking funny.

So, when Billy Turner is handing out the beating, his nickname will be:
Ike Turner

But when Billy Turner is receiving the beating his nickname will be:
Tina Turner


This has been a public service message. You may now return to your regularly scheduled football dramas.

Any reference to Ike & Tina Turner always makes think of this :

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/5d7dfea...c-7942c2a13525

[George Cumby]

^ LOL

[CaptainKickass]

BACON DOUBLE STERNBURGER - ACTIVATE!

https://packerswire.usatoday.com/2019/11/02/packers-activate-rookie-te-jace-sternberger-from-injured-reserve/

[CaptainKickass]

Everyone please welcome the newest addition to the defensive secondary, fresh off of injured reserve and newly activated...

Safety:
The one, the only, the man, the myth, the legend...

Bruce Campbell

[Joemailman]

Any relation to former Packers legend Rich Campbell?

[George Cumby]

Everyone please welcome the newest addition to the defensive secondary, fresh off of injured reserve and newly activated...

Safety:
The one, the only, the man, the myth, the legend...

Bruce Campbell

Ashe or Bubba Ho-Tep?

[Zool]

Ashe or Bubba Ho-Tep?

Play smart. Play S Mart.

[CaptainKickass]

Any relation to former Packers legend Rich Campbell?

Actually...

Rumor mill suggests he's related to former singer, guitarist, songwriter, television host, and actor Glen Campbell

[Fritz]

Actually...

Rumor mill suggests he's related to former singer, guitarist, songwriter, television host, and actor Glen Campbell

"I am a safety for the Packers . . . "

[CaptainKickass]

Late season additions that I just remembered to invent and/or mock

WR
Ryan "Ulysses S." Grant

RB/Return motherfucker
Tyler "Michael" Ervin

Offensive Tackle
Jared "The Red Nosed" Veldheer

[Zool]

I kinda hate Michael Irvin. Also it’s spelled with an E not an I.

I submit Tyler Ervin Magic Johnson. You also get a penis joke mixed in. Win/Win