Dear Nutz

[Deputy Nutz]

Dairy isn't very good for you. Cheese is about the only dairy I eat now. I try to stay away from the pasteurized bullshit. We have a thing in America where we fuck up our food by cooking the shit out of it and killing all the nutrients

[SkinBasket]

I'm alive.

But I ate a slightly aromatic pork chop last night and shit my pants today. Weird.

[SkinBasket]

This must be the one

[SkinBasket]

Now I’ll have to read the whole fucking thing

[SkinBasket]

That was refreshing. Anyway what were we talking about? You’re going to visit me for Christmas? I’m going back to Belize in April, so it will have to be a short visit.

[Deputy Nutz]

That doesn’t make any sense? I would only stay a few days.

[SkinBasket]

That doesn’t make any sense? I would only stay a few days.

Dear nutz,

I still require a date for your proposed visit, so that I may make adjustments to my social calendar.

[Deputy Nutz]

crap, I am pinched here, not sure if I can come down anymore

[Deputy Nutz]

Although bow season is still going on, am I correct?

[SkinBasket]

Although bow season is still going on, am I correct?

Cocktease!

Yes. We can shoot deer with bows and crossbows for like another month. This whole week is muzzleloader. I have to go. My kid works until 11 now, which is terribly inconvenient for an afternoon drinker.

[SkinBasket]

Dear nuts,

I take generic cialis now because I won’t stop drinking. Now my penis bends upwards like the guys in the pornos. I will never die! Just thought you should know before you visit.

[Deputy Nutz]

Yikes!

Do you take your cock pills with liquor? Because that would be pretty baller of you.

[SkinBasket]

I have a new renter. He’s kind of retarded, so I think he’ll be great.